# 9

As you all know from my recent post an amazing woman that I know has passed away. Friday I went to her viewing. I have to say it was one of the hardest things I have had to do in my life. The reality finally hit me, she was gone. When I got up to greet her parents, this emotion ran through me uncontrollably. Her mother grabbed a hold of me and she didn't let go for a long time. I remember just wanting to take the pain away from her. When I finally reached Heather's casket I could no longer handle it. Then all the sudden I realized this was my last chance to see her so I better take a good look. The only thing I could think of was that isn't her. She was wearing a black turtle neck with pink lipstick and her hair down, come on we all know Heather would never wear pink lipstick or a turtle neck. Her mom leaned into me and said I know what your thinking Heather is so mad at me right now because I let them put lipstick on her. Finally a smile was brought on my face. The one thing I will remember about Heather was she was of course wearing her #9 necklace. As we left the viewing I felt nauseated. I hated the pain that I knew everyone felt. That evening we were going to a candle light vigil on the softball field. The softball field everyone had played on with Heather. On my way to the vigil I just prayed to God please just show me a sign that Heather is ok and with you please. As you read in my last post I said everytime I see the #9 I am going to think of Heather. As I got out of my car and headed toward the field I was asked if I wanted to sign up for a car decal in memory of Heather. I immediatly said yes and as I went to sign my name I realized I was signing on as the number 9th person. I have to believe at that moment God was telling me, don't worry she is here with me and she is safe. I had been praying to him asking for one sign and he gave it to me. I have to believe that. The vigil was amazing. Kristi Lafree, Heather's bestfriend, did an amazing job. We didn't focus on the sadness, we focused on the amazing moments we had with her and the wonderful person she is.

My main point of this post is I believe God is listening and he is there to comfort us all when we need it. It also depends on how much you want to look for his guidance. Whether you want to believe it or not I know God answered me in his own way and I know Heather is looking down on all of us. She wants us to not be in pain, but instead go towards the future. She was an amazing woman. A woman none of us will never forget.