Hi Ho Hi Ho..its off to the OB Doctor I go...

34 weeks!

First of all don't you love how catchy the title is to this one. Yes I thought of it myself and I am back to living at the OB office:). At my last doctor appointment about a week ago I was having contractions so since I was only 33 weeks my doctor decided to put me on bed rest. At first when you get put on bed rest you think this will be relaxing, but I am totally not one of those people. I HATE IT. I am such a busy body and not being able to do a thing, but sit on your butt is awful. It is beyond boring not to mention finding someone to take on your responsibilities is hard on any Mom. The one plus is Braxton has been able to go to his preschool more giving me time off my feet and Braxton truly adores it. This is the best time for him to be going all week because they are doing soo many fun things at his school for Christmas. I also have had amazing family members step in and help me out when I very much needed it. I am just grateful that I only had to be on bed rest for about a week and half. Tomorrow I will be 34 weeks..which means we made it to our first goal..WOOHOO!! I had my fetal test done this past Monday which was negative so its looking good that we will make it to term. I am so happy I could cry! This pregnancy has been very rocky and I am just grateful that everything is turning out good and this little peanut has stayed inside. I am still having a lot of contractions, but when I get off my feet I am able to control them. I went back to the doctor's office this Monday and everything was good. I was still only dilated a cm, but I am now measuring 2 weeks early. This could mean I have high amniotic fluid, the baby's positioning also could affect the test, or I am carrying a bigger baby. Ahh the thought of a big baby was something I was terrified of with Braxton. Did I mention my husband weighed 11 lbs 6 oz when he was born? Thats like a damn turkey. However, more times than not the baby's weight is determined more by the mother's weight and I was an average size baby. We will wait and see. My weight is right on and honestly my belly is just growing so big that I walk so goofy because I feel like I could fall over. I am just carrying so forward with this one. My basketball belly is turning more into a watermelon I swear. I am going to the doctor every week now so if I am still big at this next appointment they might do another ultrasound just to make sure everything is looking good. We will see. As the time gets closer and closer I am getting anxious about meeting this little one. I think already going through labor before now I know what to expect which I think makes it even worse. Yes I know I will get through it and it is totally worth it, but the anticipation is the worst. I am also scared its going to happen at the worst time. My labor was so fast with Braxton..I am having nightmares that I wont make it to the hospital in time and my baby will be born in the car. Whatever happens happens right haha. We will work it out and I know not knowing what this little one is is going to be great motivation during labor. I cannot wait to hear my husband says Its a .....?? It is going to be an amazing moment for us!!!

I was also getting super nervous about our lab Maize as my pregnancy gets closer to the end. He is a lab which means he is hyper..but its like these last couple weeks he just chilled out. It might just be the fact that he got fixed..poor guy. And for everyone who told me he would stop humping everything when he got fixed..you lied to me! Now he isn't perfect by any means, but he knows when to turn it on and when it needs to be turned off. I was terrified of him thinking the baby was a chew toy, but you should just watch him with Braxton. He is soo in love with him and I know he is going to be protective of this baby. For example, when Braxton takes a bath Maize lays right by the bath tub. He wants to be whenever Braxton is at. It's like he knows his job is to protect the kids. Now if I could just get him to stop chewing on stuff he would be perfect. But he is still is only 8 months old..I gotta rememember that. We will wait and see. I just cannot wait to bring the baby home and be one happy family:).

Ahh we are soo looking forward to the holidays and enjoying our last Christmas as a family of 3. Braxton has been making me so proud because he totally gets the reason for the season. Yes he loves looking at the presents under the tree, but if you ask him what Christmas is about he will tell you about his love for Jesus. He is really a great kid and makes me so proud. He is also a character. Yesterday he was playing with one of my old cell phones. He was having a conversation and I asked him who he was talking to..he told me it was Mary..you know Jesus's Mom duhh. He is always making me smile and laugh. Gotta love 4 year olds:)

Well I am off for now..Hope everyone has an AMAZING Holiday! I am soo looking forward to seeing friends and family. Oh and did I also mention that when my husband gets home today he will officially be on Vacation for 12 days! SOO EXCITING!!!

Merry Christmas Everyone!!!

Raising a Boy

I never knew raising a boy would be so interesting. Of course just raising a child has its humorous moments, but a woman raising a boy brings soo many other elements to the table. One thing I have really realized lately about Braxton is his true innocence. He really needs to be explained things to totally understand and even then sometimes you go into a conversation you just never even thought about having..especially when they are 4 years old. So I have already told you how interesting it is having a male dog and all the wonderful traits that come with him..well while I am learning those new traits I also have to explain these things to my son. In the past month or so Maize has developed a love for humping..We weren't sure if he knew his dog bed was made for sleeping on because all he did was hump the stupid thing. Well you can try as hard as you can to stop him, but its just almost impossible and truly just annoying. With Braxton I figured if he doesn't ask me about it I am not bringing it up. Well that all changed when I noticed Braxton trying to mimic Maize and it was all over from there. We had to have the conversation about humping and why it was bad. Now I am a very matter of fact person and sometimes I think it gets me in trouble because Braxton knows a lot for his age group. Just ask the kid how his body works when he swallows food. The kid will give you a detailed example of how it goes down his esophagus into his stomach where it meets special juices and so on and so forth. Yes I explained matter of fact how his body digests food..I cannot help myself if I know it and he wants to know it then I am going to explain it to him. This kid wants to know how everything works and at 4 years old I am always willing to push him to learn. So when I first saw Braxton humping I just told him that was very inappropriate and he shouldn't do that..I am sure you already know his response, but he simply told me well why does Maize do it then? I seriously cannot get a way with a simple answer with him because he wants to know exactly why. I just told him Dogs don't know any better and hopefully when he gets fixed he will stop doing it. That made Braxton stop questioning it for a while, but of course he came back at me that Dogs have brains and they should know better like we all know better..all I wanted to say to Braxton was are you kidding me can we please just drop it? Of course I had to explain to him that dog brains aren't like human brains and blah blah blah. And when he kept asking why I simply ran with my all time favortie..because thats how God made them. Ahh that one worked. So now the kid just thinks Dogs have dumb brains, but whatever stops us from having a humping conversation I am down with. So then whenever Braxton caught Maize humping he would just look at him with disgust and say you need to be fixed. Ahh such a great comment from a 4 year old. Well that day came and Maize got himself all fixed up. Braxton decided he was so happy for him he was going to take it upon himself to tell strangers. We were at the check out counter at the supermarket and he gave the lady a big old smile and said my Dog got fixed today because he humps everything and thats inappropraite. Dear Lord why do these wonderful sayings happen to random people that probably look at me and think this lady should not have children. What can you do but laugh and enjoy! Ahh I am just a happy Mom trying my best to raise a boy:)

I just wanna run

Today is killing me. It is December 2nd and it is simply beautiful out. One of those days where its cold, but the sun is still out and shinning. One of those types of days that is perfect for a long run. Now I know it isn't right to complain, but today I just feel like it. I am SO grateful to be pregnant and I never would want anyone to think otherwise. Words cannot describe the joy of this pregnancy and how happy I am to be allowed this gift. Lord knows I am not worthy of this honor, but today I just feel the urge to cry. I want to cry because I feel like my body is falling apart. When I started off this pregnancy I was planning on being just as active as I was before. This meant running my 6 miles and doing crossfit. I even purrchased a sweet belly band that would support my growing bump. That changed from the very beginning when I started having restrcitions piled on me from a risky pregnancy. I was told absoutly NO running, lite walking, and no lifting higher than 20 lbs. At first I thought how impossible, my son weighs more than 20 lbs for goodness sakes. Then the thought of a premature baby came in to my mind and I knew there was no choice. This wasn't about me anymore this was about the health of my child. It is hard though to be such an active girl and feeling so wasteful to my very own body. However, with all this being said, my child just kicked me hard in the ribs and put me back in my place. This is what my life is all about right now and I am so grateful to be a moma and holding this new life with me. I do promise you this my sweet banana though the second Moma can run you will get the honor of riding along in your sweet stroller:). I am soo looking forward to spending that time with you!! :)

Vacation Come Back..

Conrad was on vacation this past week and it was WONDERFUL! Waking up to my family every morning was perfection. We didn't really have a lot of plans, but to relax and enjoy eachother. That is exactly what we did and we loved it. We got a lot of stuff done around the house and things are really starting to come together. Most importantly I think we are pretty much ready for baby. I am getting more and more anxious thinking about how soon it is going to be here. Every 2 weeks I go to the doctor now. I have already started having some random contractions, but nothing to be concerned about. Every time I go to the doctor I have a fetal fibronectin test done, which is actually pretty amazing to me. This test sometimes can tell if you will go into labor in the next. It might not always be accurate, but it atleast helps the doctors get my body best prepared for a possible early birth. For example, with Braxton I started going into labor at 32 weeks so I had to take medicine to stop contractions, be put on bedrest, and get steriods to help develop his lungs. Luckily, the things we did prevented Braxton from arriving too early and we were able to keep him in to just 12 days early which was term. I am hoping this one will do the same:). As much as I want to get this horrible pregnancy over with..I am holding on as long as my body will:). I just want my sweet baby to come out at term and not a minute sooner:).

This week is my last week in school..WOOHOO!! I am so excited. No more online classes for me. This means I just get to relax with my sweet boy before I officially become a mother of 2! Gosh actually writing that out loud made me all giddy. I am going to have 2 wonderful kids! How'd I get so lucky? Anyways back at it..I just got to get through this week, which is rather difficult. Thanksgiving kind of took away all my motivation. I just cannot wait till it is done. It really hasn't been to horrible and I am so grateful that this whole school thing worked out this semester. God always looking out for me I tell you!

Lastly this week we got out our Christmas decorations. Braxton LOVED putting up our Christmas tree. We were going to start the tradition of getting a fresh Christmas tree, but this year just didn't seem like a good idea. First off we have a lab puppy and I just kept picturing him lifting his leg and peeing on it. He does it to my bushes..why wouldn't he do it on the fresh smelling tree in my house? Also with a baby on the way I don't want any extra things to deal with..and that includes taking care of a tree. I know I am a baby, but next year I promise the boys will be out getting the tree while I stay home cuddling my sweet baby!:) I know it is a tradition Conrad had with his parents and I want him to be able to do the same thing with our kids..we are just going to wait a year. Also, the tree we have now is really special to me..we got it for Braxton's first Christmas and I think we will always put it up no matter what. It is just so exciting that this is our first Xmas in our new house. New Memories to be made..cannot wait. You all know I am sucker for the holidays and this year will be a great one.

Braxton is at an awesome age and I know this year we will have a blast!! Enjoy the Holidays everyone..and even though my husband is no longer on vacation I only have to wait 3 more weeks till he gets 12 days off. YES 12!! Moma is so excited that she cannot wait!!

The Name Game

So Conrad and I are having a rather difficult time figuring out names for our child. Naming Braxton was hard and it took a LONNG time to figure it out. The worst part about this time..is we have to have a name for a boy and a girl. What is so funny is in the beginning we couldn't agree on one name..not one. Now we have 3 names each for a boy and a girl. Of course there are favorites, but the problem is our favorites don't match. Conrad says we should just take the names and when we see the baby we will know. I on the other hand find this hard to believe. I know when that little baby is in my arms I am going to want my name even more. Ahh will we ever figure it out? I hope so:) or we might just have to keep the name Banana! You will all have to wait and see..hopefully by the time this baby is here we have names!!

This week Conrad has been working in California. We have been missing him a lot and are soo excited for him to get home tonight because that means he is officially on VACATION for a whole week! We really don't have many plans except to just enjoy family time. Conrad of course wants to get out and hunt a couple days and there are a few things we'd like to get done around the house. It is going to be so nice. We are also so excited for thanksgiving. Conrad will play in the annual turkey bowl and then we will get to enjoy family time and good food. I am telling you it is wonderful to be pregnant at thanksgiving time. I am super excited to get together with my family as well and make a plan for Black Friday. Yes I am one of those people and I enjoy it. Of course I don't go out unless it is completely worth it so ads don't let me down this year!

Alright off to go play cars with my favortie 4 year old..hope everyone has a great Friday!!

Awesome Big Brother!

Yesterday Braxton and I went to his Super Sibling Class at Memorial Hospital. It was a one time class that a co-worker told me about and I am soo glad we went. In the beginning the teacher, Miss Judy, sat around with the kids on the floor and told them all about babies. It was very informative and hands on, perfect for the kids. However, I learned that my son LOVES the sound of his voice. Since we have read a lot of books about babies and I have tried very hard to prepare him he immediatley tried to answer all the questions. That wasn't the only thing he did, he always tried to add stories in there as well. He for sure wasn't shy at all and I feel kind of bad because he talked so much the other kids just had no choice but to listen to him. He also made sure he was as close to the teacher as possible..what a teacher's pet. He must get this from Conrad because when I was a kid I was VERY shy..not Braxton. I actually got a little anxious that he was going to share stories I didn't want him to share, but lucikly he kept everything clean. He did mention that changing diapers was disgusting and he would have no part in that. He atleast got everyone to laugh. We went on a tour of the child birth unit and Braxton got to see where I will have the baby and where I will go once the baby is born. He was really intrigued by it all. He also got to see the special button he will get to press when the baby is here that sends out a little song throughout the hospital to let everyone know a baby has been born. One of my favortie things about the class is Braxton decorated a picture frame with his picture in it that the nurses will place in the new baby's bed when it is born so that the baby will know that Braxton is the big brother. Super Cute and Braxton was very excited about this. Another favortie time was when the teacher taught the kids the proper way to hold babies. As I watched Braxton holding the baby I saw him kissing the baby's head multiple times and singing to it. Honestly it made me want to cry with happiness. He is such a loving child and I know he is going to be an amazing brother:). Lastly, at the end of class the teacher told the kids a "secret," that when the baby is born the siblings get to go to the gift shop and bring mommy a flower. Whats so cute is Braxton keeps telling me he has a huge surprise for me when the baby comes. It is really awesome how excited he is. This class was great and I recommned it highly!

Now we wait till the little bundle of joy is here. I am 29 weeks and ready for it to be here. I know it is going to fly by:).

Craziest Dreams

So you all know this pregnancy has been rather difficult..and everything is soo different from my first. As I start my last trimester I have to say that I am anxious to get it all over with. I never thought I would say that because I LOVED being pregnant with Braxton. However, this pregnancy hasn't been as much fun. I have gotten through it all and it actually has gotten better. What I am experiencing now is just back pain and not being able to sleep for anything. I ended up finally caving in and bought myself a body pillow. The lady at the checkout counter even looked at me and smiled and said girl you look like you haven't slept in a week..and to be honest she's about right. She told me she had to do the same thing when she was pregnant and that it made a big difference with a long pillow. The last couple nights have been better besides getting up to pee at least 3 times. The weirdest new thing I am going through is the most bizarre dreams. For example, the other night I had a beautiful little girl and when I touched her faced it caved in and I kept screaming I ruined my baby. Then last night I dreamed I was still pregnant, but when I went into the doctor I was told I was pregnant again so the babies would be delivered 3 months apart..what the heck? Seriously they are like this every night it is soo bizarre! I also have to share that I am super emotional. I mean SUPER. I went to pick up Braxton from preschool and he told me he didn't want to leave because he wanted to play with his friends..and I started crying. It was completely out of my control. I mean something so dumb will make me cry..ahh the joys of being pregnant:)

Ok Ok I will back off from my pregnancy stories and tell you that school is going really well. I am already half way through and doing well. I do have to say that I hate online classes though. They are just not for someone like me because being at home makes me want to do everything besides school. You just have to really force yourself to do it all without getting distracted. Its not my cup of tea.

Braxton is really enjoying preschool and making us very proud. He only goes 3 days a week, but is learning so much. He can spell his name and almost has his last name as well. It is really awesome as a Mom to watch your son learn and accomplish new things. For example, he just learned his address and every time he gets it completely right he gets so excited. I cannot believe how big he is getting. We also have to start buying his clothes in the big boy section now that he is wearing mostly size 5T. It really is hard to believe. I have pulled out some of his old onsies for the baby and when I look at them I just cannot believe he is 4 years old. They aren't lying when they say it goes by so fast. For now I am trying my best to enjoy every little moment with my Braxton because before we know it baby will be here and it wont just be me and my side kick. I get scared trying to think of how I will do it all, but I know God will guide me and there will be good and bad days. However, I am super excited to see the big brother in action and how much he falls in love with this new life that will bring our family even closer.

Maize

So you all know we have a new love in our life..our yellow lab puppy Maize. He is now 4 months old and becoming quite a BIG boy. Let me tell you this past week I was ready to sell him on ebay. Lets just say the rain made him crazy and he wasn't listening to me at all. However, this week I was reminded why we do love Maize so much. Braxton and Maize have this amazing bond already and I honestly love it. Maize seriously follows Braxton EVERYWHERE! Maize is really a great addition to our family and I know he is going to be a great dog for our future.

With Maize I have learned a lot. I have never had a boy dog before in my life. My dad always had girl hunting dogs and I always stuck with that myself. Conrad, however, was raised with boy dogs and of course when we decided to get a lab Braxton and Conrad decided it was going to be a boy. I guess the thing I cannot stand the most..and I know this isn't proper language..is when he gets excited and his lil willy pops out. My all time favorite thing is when Braxton first noticed it. He was repulsed and being a Mother it just wasn't the best conversation I have ever had in my life. Now every time he gets one Braxton yells out Mommy Maize has a serection (yes he calls an erection a serection). He also yells at Maize to put it away because it isn't polite. Honestly, every time it happens I die laughing. I mean what else can you do?

I am sure there will be more funny experiences with Maize and I look forward to them. Of course we will share them. For now we are enjoying our new full of life puppy:)

My Best Friend:)

Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary. I feel beyond blessed that I am married to such a wonderful man. Conrad and I got married on our 5 year anniversary and we have been together a total of 8 years, and I can honestly say every year just keeps getting better and better.

Conrad has given me more than I ever thought possible and is truly my best friend. I feel honored to be his wife and even more lucky that together we are growing a wonderful family.
Conrad thanks for loving me no matter what and pushing me to grow everyday. You are the love of my life and I cannot wait to see what our future holds together.

Joys Of Pregnancy

So this pregnancy has been VERY different from the first. I went into preterm labor with Braxton at 32 weeks, but was able to control contractions and had him just 2 weeks early..that was a breeze compared to all the complications of this pregnancy and we aren't even done yet. I think I have honestly had every symptoms in the book and the new one I am experienceing is heartburn. I have found that drinking milk has been a huge help which is funny because milk use to be repulsive to me and now I cannot live without it. Lets just put it this way we go through atleast 2 gallons of milk a week. Even though the pregnancy in the beginning started off rough and really a little scary things have started to get much better. I am knocking on wood right now as we speak. Anyways I really am just trying to just enjoy being pregnant besides the whole getting bigger, finding it more and more uncomfortable to tie my shoes, and barley being able to breath a lot of the time. However, it is such a joy feeling this new life inside me and Braxton becoming more and more excited to meet his new sibling just makes it better. As far as cravings go I am obsessed with sweets and salt. I crave them both which is bad because neither one if the best thing for me. Its seriouly so bad though. For example, last night my mother-in-law made these killer pumpkin seeds with salt all over them. I started eating them and yelled at my husband for even putting them in my hands. I had to move them away from myself and then everytime I looked at them I was like a dog with salvia falling out on my mouth. It's soo horrible.

We are really in getting ready for baby mode. I have washed mostly everything and the nursery actually looks like a nursery. Of course it isn't finished and wont be completely until we find out what the baby is. We are sooo soo excited to meet this little one and know what it is. A lot of people think I am having a little girl because the pregnancy is so different from Braxton, but to be honest my gut still tells me it's another little boy. I really don't know why except for the fact that I think I am destined to have all boys. To be perfectly honest though I don't have a prefence what so ever. I look at Braxton and I just think I would for sure have another one of those, but it would also be great to have a little girl. At this point I know when we find out we are both going to be sooo overjoyed and we just want a healthy little baby. Can you tell I am so excited??

It will be here before we know it..

I told you so..

I hate the phrase I told you so and I hate it even more when it comes from my husband. I seriously will put myself in misery before I will allow my husband to know he was completely right on something or more importantly that I was completely wrong. However, last night I will let it be known I was wrong. Since we moved in our new house we have fixed all of the locks and in our garage we added a lock that can lock the door, but you can still open it from the other side. Now I am a FREAK about making sure all doors are locked at all times. My husband always tells me make sure you never lock the garage because you will one day lock yourself out of the house. I remember the exact look I gave him when he told me this and it was something like what idiot would lock themselves out? Well that idiot was me. I had just put Braxton to bed and decided I need to get the trash together and put outside. I also knew I needed to get Maize out for a little bit because the rain had made him crazy and he just needed to be outside for a bit. Anyways I get out my garage and take out the trash. I walk Maize around the yard and decide to head in. As I go to open the door the worst feeling happened in my stomach. I was locked out of the house. I ran to every door in the pouring rain and every door is locked. All I could think of is my baby is inside, I have no cell phone, and I am going to break one of my windows (yes I am that dramatic). After freaking out for a minute I finally got myself together and I realized my child is 4 years old and is probably still awake in his room. I run to the window and yell to Braxton who gets up and says Mom where are you? After explaining everything to him he came to my rescue and opened the front door. I immediatley grabbed him and thanked him. He had the biggest smile on his face because he knew he saved his Mommy. After I put him back in bed I also got the biggest lecture from my 4 year old. It went something like no more taking the trash out at night because you can't see and never lock yourself out of the house again. However, if you do lock yourself out next time you need to make sure you yell louder from outside the window because apparently Braxton couldn't hear me all that well. Seriously being locked out of your house when your child is inside is such a horrible feeling. I am just grateful Braxton was awake and I didn't pull a stupid move like trying to break down the door.

Now I should have just kept this all to myself, but I knew Braxton was going to tell his Daddy the news because he was just so proud of himself and that is exactly what happened when Conrad talked to him. And you all know my husband wanted to say I told you so..so here it is Conrad you were right...but just this time:)

To Discipline or Not To Discipline

Now when I talk about my son I mostly have all positive things to say and for the most part he is exceptional, but recently I have been experiencing a lot of "talking back." I never dealt with the terrible 2s or really even terrible 3s so this sassyness is something new to me for the most part. I probably shouldn't even say that because people might hate me now. However, now we are experiencing some bossyness from my 4 year old that I would LOVE to live without. For example, yesterday as I am trying to get everything in the house with all the rain I tell Braxton to please take his shoes off before he comes inside and he yells back you take your shoes off Mommy mine are staying on. Um excuse me sir who are you talking to? He usually quickly replies I am just kidding.. or in his language he says I am just bekidding (don't ask me why, but thats how he pronounces it). Anyways this is becoming his normal just saying something sassy back at me. I cannot stand it and last night I had had enough. Now as parents we all know discipline is usually harder on the parent than the child. Last night I was totally reminded of that. I think Conrad and I do a great job with discipline. We are good at following through, but last night I sooo badly wanted to give in. Braxton LOVES storytime and last night he lost that privledge. Saying this kid cried wouldn't do it justice, he was to the point of hyperventilation. You know that over the top crying. Now I don't know if anyone is like me, but when I see that dramatic cry I can't help but laugh. For Braxton, not getting a story was the end of his world and I couldn't help but laugh thinking kid this is nothing. I kept having to turn my head away. Now I knew Braxton felt bad about being sassy, but I had to stick to my guns even though it would have been a lot easier to just say ok your sorry lets read.

Braxton got over it and today is a new day. I told my husband later that night how bad I felt. Braxton just kept saying your the one who is being mean and I kept having to go back to why we had to do this. Man I hate discipline, but I also look at how good Braxton is most of the time and realize that didn't just happen over night. I discipline him because I love him and I want to set him up to be the best person he can be. I just wish the crocodile tears didn't have to come with it.

Preparing for baby!

Every week I feel like we are getting more and more organized in this house and it is awesome to see things coming together. This week we actually got our garage to the point where I can park my car in it. It is a wonderful thing. The truly exciting part is getting all the baby stuff out and organized. It is funny that we have had stuff put away for over 3 years and bringing it all back out brings back so many memories. Just gets us all so excited for whats about to come. It is also so exciting to have Braxton be so involved. We went to the library and got a ton of books about being a big brother and what to expect when the baby comes home. Braxton has a lot of questions and also he is learning a lot about the baby he was. We talked about what the baby needs and some things babies do and he found it very interesting that a while back this is what he was like when he was a baby. My favorite part was reading about the baby talking and Braxton asked me what his first words were when he was a baby. I unfortunately had to tell him he said Dada. He quickly said Mommy what if the baby says my name first. His face lite up so much and now he is constantly telling the baby who he is and what his name is. We have also signed Braxton up for a Super Siblings class. This gives him an opportunity to learn about babies hands on and also see where we are going to have the baby. I am really excited to take him to this class and see his reaction to it all. I really want to prepare Braxton for this baby as much as I can. I cannot lie Braxton is the only grandchild on the Bontrager side so he is pretty spoiled and even though the Whittaker side has 5 grandchildren he still gets plenty of attention. Not to mention Braxton is an only child meaning he is very much the center of attention. I know he is going to be a great big brother, but I also know he is going to have a struggle learning that he isn't the only one anymore. I cannot lie that I am a little nervous as to how I will juggle both kids. Braxton is my side kick and honestly we do just about everything together and adding a new love to my life just seems hard for me to believe. I am over the moon with excitement and I know our family is going to blossom so much from this new life. Conrad keeps telling me he just cannot wait for the little one to be here. I think it just isn't real to him until he has that little baby in his arms. For me I am constantly feeling a baby inside me so I know its there and coming..It will be here before we know it. With all my complications the doctor just told me he wants me to make it to 34 weeks which completely freaked me out because thats Christmas basically. I am hoping this baby and I work together and go to term so I have stuck by my restrictions and made sure I am always listening to my body. At this point we are just enjoying preparing for a new baby.

I have officially started my online classes this week which so far so good. Although I truly think online classes are way harder than going to class. However, 7 weeks will fly by and then I will have these classes out of the way. It will make it sooo much easier in the fall.

Well now on to my homework..more updates soon:)

Sunday Funday!

There are no words to describe how much I look forward to Sundays. We have a very special routine and its something that honestly gets me through the week. Every Sunday we wake up as a family and have some special time together. Usually consists of breakfast and a walk for Maize. After that its time to get ready for our favortie thing..Church service. Conrad and I get a morning coffee and then its off to our other home. What I love most about Sundays is Braxton's excitiment for Church. He truly has a love for God and every day I see God in him more and more. Seriously to see your child growing in his faith at 4 years old will make any grown up want more for their life as well. These past couple months church has been everything I have wanted it to be. I grew up in church since I was a baby and I totally blame myself for waiting this long to truly find God. Now maybe it was because I was younger and I wasn't really listening and truly selfish, but when I was younger church for me was a chore. It was something I had to do and I never felt close to it. I can honestly say God wasn't someone I knew and it wasn't until I had my newborn baby in my arms did I realize how much I was truly missing. It has been a journey, but for the first time in my life I am listening and it is changing my life. God has changed my life in a way I never imagined and there is still SOOOO much room for growth. Conrad and I have faced many obstacles and there is a reason we are where we are now. We are far from perfect, but I guarentee we wouldn't be as successful as we are if it wasn't for our faith. With God by our side there is nothing we cannot face. We have had a share of struggles and seriously the last couple weeks in service have answered my prayers. To sit in a chair and just cry for help to God and have Sunday come and give you light on the exact issue just makes me forever grateful. I just feel so lucky right now and have to be able to share it.

After church Braxton and I took off for the park with Maize. We wore that puppy out and also ourselves. We truly love having a park in our neighborhood that has plenty of space for the dog to run and Braxton time to "escape aliens." Braxton has quite the imagination these days and he truly can find a way to play with anything and I mean anything. Anyways at the park he usually fights aliens and tries to escape them. It is such a funny scene and I get to watch:). On on way back to the house, the Kona truck came by and Braxton was able to get a slushy so I think his Sunday is quite complete. I seriously cannot tell you how much I love living in our subdivision.

Now we are enjoying some quite time since Braxton slept horribly last night. Braxton usually never naps, but with him being up a lot last night he for sure needs it. I think this weather might be effecting his alleriges. Hopefully he will get a little nap in and maybe this moma should try to do that herself. However, one chore Conrad and I want to tackle today is the baby's room. You think you'd be able to walk in the baby's room..yeah we can't. It is filled with all types of baby stuff and not organized at all and I figure since we are more then halfway through and on the verge of busy season we should get to it. A little at a time and it will get there:). This house will get there eventually I know it will..we might just need some help along the way.

I hope everyone is enjoying this Sunday as much as we are..:)

Update

So this past weekend I have had horrible cramping along with some spotting. I of course went into see the doctor again this am. I have seriously been there every week this month. We did another ultrasound, which I believe is my 5th one this pregnancy, and doctor believes it is in my best interest to take it as easy as possible. This unfortunately means no more working at the hospital. He felt that my job description doesn't fit with this pregnancy. So now here I am taking online classes and trying as hard as I can to take it easy. Braxton goes to preschool for a couple hours a day so luckily we get a lot more one on one time which is nice. Couple hours to do schoolwork and then time to focus on Braxton. With this new change, however, comes a lot of guilt. I feel very betrayed by my own body. I guess its because I feel like I was very active before my pregnancy and was fit so shouldn't this pregnancy be going smoother? I so badly want to be able to do it all and not leave all the finances on my husband's shoulders. I never thought at 22 weeks I would be told I have to take it easy. It is very difficult for me to sit around and feel like I am not doing everything I should be doing. This is all my issue though because Conrad constantly reminds me it will be ok and I have a way bigger job than he does, making sure our baby stays safe. He is very good to me and I keep reminded myself that God wouldn't put us in a situation we couldn't handle. I came across this today and I thought how perfect is this.."The will of God will never put you in a place where the Grace of God wont protect you." All I can do is what I am capable of doing and pray that God will take care of us.

I am hoping I can maybe find a way to financially help this family by doing something I can handle..if anyone needs some special hands let me know:) I know I don't need to work, but I just guess I want to feel like I am doing something. Conrad keeps saying I am with taking care of the household and Braxton, but I guess I just want to find a way to do more.

I hope everyone is having a great week. These last two days have been BEAUTIFUL. Exactly what I love about the fall weather:). My favorite part is I am not running a single thing in this house..no A/C..No heat..I am going to enjoy my gas bill when I get it:).

Beautiful Wedding..

This weekend my sister got married to a wonderful man named Adam. The wedding was perfect and beautiful. Braxton was the ring bearer and I was a bridesmaid. Braxton had a couple meltdowns, but he did as good as he could. He just was having an off day in the beginning. It probably was from the not getting enough sleep from the night before with the rehearsal dinner. He was just not up for taking pictures which was super frustrating because here we were out on the Notre Dame football field and everyone was working so hard to get the kid to smile. Luckily we ended up getting him to work it out and got some great photos. You never know what you are going to get with a 4 year old. However, the best part was Braxton walking down the aisle with his cousin Brenna. They were soo cute. Braxton just kept talking to Brenna the whole way down the aisle and had everyone laughing and smiling just because they were adorable and your typical 4 year old kids. At the end I was really proud of how he did and grateful that we made it through.

Now we are back to reality. Braxton started back at preschool this week and I have been trying as hard as I can to take it easy, which is not easy at all for a woman who is always on the go. Even at the wedding when I wanted to dance my body kept saying nope. It is hard for me to stand still, but I am learning that it is something that has to be done for the sake of my child. I am very thankful that I have a great son who is very patient with me and a dog who has learned to deal with me as well. Braxton and Maize are the best of friends and are learning to help me out. My husband has also been great. I have to be honest I feel super guilty when I cannot do things, but he is the one always reminding me it is ok. For example, I had to drop my micro class this semester because my doctor thinks I will be put on bedrest if things keep countining the way they are going and it would be in my best interest to take things online. That was super hard for me to do, but I was able to add classes online towards my nursing classes so may be it is a blessing in disguise. I guess if anything I have learned through this pregnancy it is rolling with the punches. At this point it is all I can do and I am just grateful to have a great support system. I keep telling myself it will all be sooo worth it and I know it will:)

How did I ever get so lucky?

Baby Banana

This Monday we finally got to see our baby. The baby is healthy and growing wonderfully. We made it through with out finding out the sex and are soo excited to find out what this little one is. Since we can't call it a boy or girl we asked Braxton to think of a name to call it for now. He decided to call the baby Banana so Banana it is. Conrad calls me the best banana tree ever and Braxton just loves it. It really is so exciting to not know what this lil banana is and I cannot wait to find out.

Our doctor was soo hilarious yesterday at the ultrasound. First he looked at the pictures of the baby's brain and remarked that it had to be a boy because the brain was nice and big. Dr. quickly said he never makes that comment unless there is a man in the room because he is out numbered. Conrad thought it was hilarious and a nice ice breaker considering we had moved our ultrasound up because I have had some bleeding issues and we were nervous. Everything turned out to be fine and just a minor issue with the placenta meaning I just have to take it easy and no heavy lifting. The next photo was of the baby having it's hands by its face and Dr. quickly changed his mind and said oh no its a girl. I asked why and he said because boys never have their hands on their face, they are always playing with their privates. The ultrasound tech started laughing and said he is right yesterday I had a little boy going crazy at his junk and the Dr. replied well its not like there is much to do in there. Conrad and I were laughing so hard. I am so thankful for yesterday and being able to have some relief in knowing that the baby is perfectly healthy and beautiful. Now we wait till we get to meet our little banana. We just started picking up baby names, which should be pretty interesting considering it was horrible trying to name Braxton. I can't imagine it will be easier with this one, but you will all have to wait and be surprised for the names too. We figure if we aren't finding out we are just going to keep it all a secret. Please don't hate us..:)

Lastly, I had my follow up heart appointment today. My heart is fine and I am experiencing some PVCs that are probably happening more often because I am pregnant. Nice to know it is nothing serious and I don't have to worry anymore. Any one that ever needs to see a cardiologist though I HIGHLY recommend Dr. Nelson. His bedside manner is amazing and he truly is an amazing physician.

I am so thankful that baby and I are doing well and everyday God is taking care of us. :)

Remember when I enjoyed football season?

So we all know fall is my favortie season. I love the cool weather, the changes in color, pumpkin spice lattes, fall decortations..etc etc. Mostly though I love football. It is by far my favortie sport to watch besides rugby. I am a huge Notre Dame and Colts fan..you see the dilemma in this by now right? My husband is a Michigan fan and has forced my son to love Michigan as well. It was already bad enough going at it with my husband, but when a 4 year old is screaming the Michigan fight song in your face to upset you and your husband has the biggest smile on in the backgroud you are going to lose it. However, during the Notre Dame game I kept it together. Even when we were killing them I just kept quiet and enjoyed, which if you know me at all that is not me. I seriously never shut my mouth and am a horrible loser. Seriously watching peoples remarks about the Colts makes my blood boil..its really ridiculous! Its a football team..like relax. Ok anyways back to the point I was a great girl..yes I shouted a couple Scoreboards out and made fun of the Michigan dropped passes when they were seriously right in their hands..but for the most part I kept my mouth shut and enjoyed the game. I can't say the same for my husband or my 4 year old for that matter. Conrad was like a little kid. I mean in the last minute he was standing up rocking back and forth like he was playing or something. As you all know we lost in final seconds and my husband was all talk and smiles the rest of the night. I was a horrible loser and sent my butt to bed, hoping tomorrow the Colts would come out awesome. Haha that didn't happen either. Not even close..and the remarks from everyone has left me annoyed and not enjoying football what so ever. So now it looks like its going to be a loooong season. Damn you football!! So what do I do now..start watching tennis? No thank you. All I have to say is Irish you better destroy Michigan State next week. I seriously hate State more than Michigan. I can't really tell you why expect that I am still pissed off that they put their flag in our field years back. Yes like I said I am a poor loser just deal with it....GOOO IRISH!!! And Colts I still got your back but you gotta give me a lot more than last week..there is more to you than Peyton Manning..so make it happen:) please!

Heart

So latley I have been experiencing some weird feelings in my chest. It's almost like I can feel my heart doing something irregular and it makes me lose my breath. It isn't the best feeling. I ended up seeing my pimary care physician who has referred me to a cardiologist. I have been super nervous for all this and my main concern is the little peanut growing inside me. I want to make sure this baby is taken care of and I do everything in my power to make sure this isn't anything serious. To me it feels like I am throwing PVCs. If this is the case they usually don't do anything for this and I hope that is all this is. However, it is super uncomfortable and not knowing what it is is very scary to me. So today I started wearing a holter monitor. Basically something to track my ryhthm for the doctor. Hopefully we get some answers soon.:)

Now on to more happy things Conrad got to feel baby move for the first time. It happened just like it did with Braxton. We were both laying in bed and I felt the little bug start to move. I wasn't sure if Conrad would actually be able to feel it, but he was. That little thing can kick thats for sure. Looks like this baby is growing strong and I am very happy to be experiencing it again. I cannot wait till Braxton gets to feel it. He will be over the moon.:)

We also got Braxton's playset all set up at our new home this weekend. It has been amazing. He seriously wants to be outside all day long and I can't blame him because I truly have been enjoying this weather. This labor day weekend honestly was awesome. We really stopped everything and just enjoyed spending time with our family. Our church service this weekend really reminded us of that. It isn't about all the experiences, activites, programs, etc that you put on your kids. It really is about the downtime. Our pastor brought up some great points about if you really ask kids what they want from their parents most of them will say they just want more of them. It really isn't about quanity its about quality. I needed to be reminded of that.

Well I must get going microbiology is calling my name..yuck!! I mean seriously doesn't learning about bacteria sound super fun to you too?

Crazyness

I know I always say this, but we really have been busy and my chances to blog have been slim to none. I seriously think our family might be a little crazy with everything we are trying to do at one time, but oh well.

As you all know we are expecting. This pregnancy has been VERY different from Braxton. I believe I have had every symptom in the book and I am not lying. I am now 17 weeks along and still struggling through nausea and fatigue. I know it will be worth it, but not being able to keep things down isn't very fun. The one thing I absolutely cannot even think about is chicken. For some reason this baby hates it and even writing about it makes me nauseated. Its just so crazy to me because a lot of the things I really enjoy eating I no longer can and things that I use to hate I want. For example, milk has always been something I forced myself to have as a kid and now I want it all the time. I also am obsessed with eating cucumbers with salt right now. I swear I could eat them every night and most of the time I do. I have been feeling some movement from the baby and that really makes it all worth it. I seriously adore feeling this little life moving around inside me and knowing that I get the opportunity to do this again is just amazing.

We also welcomed a new puppy into our family. Braxton got a yellow lab for his Birthday. Again I know we are crazy you don't have to tell me. Braxton named the puppy Maize after Michigan. I of course tell everyone Maize is named after the color corn. Maize's full name is Special Agent Maize and Blue. Braxton is soo obsessed with his new puppy and constantly calls Maize his brother. Maize follows Braxton everywhere. They really have a great relationship started, but as many people know puppies are a lot of work and I think I forgot about that.

As we don't have enough on our plate we also have moved into our new home. It has been amazing, but soooo much work. Just getting everything organized and put together seems like a never ending task, especially when you are pregnant and you run out of energy as soon as you start the project. My wonderful husband keeps reminding me it will all get done, and know it will. Just wish it would happen soon so I can stop worrying about it.

It really is soo exciting to see how far Conrad and I have come. We are in a happy marriage that has stayed focused and we are now finally seeing the benefits. Its been a lot of work, but I am so proud of my husband and I. Now we are in our first home with our happy boy and another wonderful life on the way. September 26th we go for our ultrasound to found out what this little bug is. I really think its another little boy and Conrad feels is a little girl so we will just see whos right? We really don't care either way just want a happy healthy baby:)

Our Family is Growing:)

Well from the title I think it is safe to say that you know we are EXPECTING! Conrad and I are over the moon with excitement. Braxton is beyond ready to be a big brother. He use to say that there were twins in there a boy and a girl. After I had an ultrasound and told him sorry buddy there is only one in my belly, he then decided well its a boy then. He says he wants a boy, but then is quick to say whatever God gives us he will be happy with. Conrad and I feel the exact same way, we don't care what this little bean is..we just pray for a healthy baby.

As many of you know I have PCOS that has gotten fairly bad over the last few years since I had Braxton. After talking to my doctor and telling her my concerns about school and all that she basically said if it was her she would try now because after 2 years we might have to go to alternatives. I knew I didn't want to finish school to find out my time was up so I choose my priorities and I just feel honored that God is letting me do this again. School will always be there, this might not have been. There are no words to describe my joy when I saw two pink lines on that pregnancy test. No words.

So here we are!!:) I have to say that so far this pregnancy has been very different. I think I have had every pregnancy symptom in the book. Fatigue has been the worse. I swear if I could nap 3 hours everyday I would do it. By 3 o'clock everyday I am ready for bedtime it is kind of ridiculous. I also have to pee every 5 seconds, ok not really but it seems that way. I have to tell you it isn't very fun to be on a 4 mile run far away from your house and you have to pee even though you went 5 minutes ago. Ah the joys of the first trimester. The funny thing about it all whether I am throwing up, tierd to the point my eyes can't stay open, or just moody as ever I always smile because I am pregnant. I am pregnant..I just love even saying it:) To know there is another baby coming into this family just makes me soo happy.

My all time favorite thing about this pregnancy is Braxton's excitement. He talks to the baby all the time and kisses my belly constantly. He is going to be a FANTASTIC brother:). I just feel blessed that God is giving us this gift because our entire family is ready.

WE ARE HOMEOWNERS!

So as many of you know we have been on the house hunt, and this past Sunday we became homeowners!! We are so excited about this house. Conrad already promised Braxton that we would make his room a Michigan room. I am going to try my very best to make sure this doesn't happen, but honestly I might have no choice in the matter. You all have no idea what I am dealing with here. Braxton sings the Michigan fight song everyday and sometimes he does it just to spite me. I don't even know how I got here with him, but I can tell you I don't like it. Anyways Braxton is so excited to decorate his room and make it his own. I just love to see how much he lights up when we tell him things about the house.

I am just so excited to see our hardwork paying off. We have really worked hard to get here and I am just soo excited to see the benefits. God is so good and has helped us grow and see the light at the end of the tunnel, even when we didn't believe it was there.

Lastly, I have to leave you with what my son prayed about tonight.. "God please help bad people, help good people find moms and dads who don't have them. also help them find shelter in a thunderstorm." Seriously cutest thing ever. What I love about it is not one thing was about him. He prayed for other people. Like I always say and will continue to say Braxton is so amazing and he truly makes me learn and grow everyday. At 3 years old he really made me stop and think today how lucky we are.

So now we get ready for the big move...If you are looking for a great summer workout contact me in 30 days:)

And the hunt goes on..

As many of you know we put an offer on a house. We ended up with another person who really wanted the house. They managed to pay cash and it and left us out of the running. The worst part about it was it was such a long process that I started picturing my family being in the house. However, I know God has a different plan for us so I have to believe that. We will be looking at more homes tomorrow so I am praying we find a new fit:)

This past weekend my bf Beth got married to a wonderful man Matty. The wedding was BEAUTIFUL. Seriously from her flowers to her breathtaking dress. It was Beth all the way and I felt honored that Braxton and I were part of their day. Braxton did wonderful. We did have a little moment before we walked down the aisle where he was like I don't want to I want to walk with you. I did the only thing I could think of and told him Braxton you walk down that aisle with the biggest smile and I will get you a new dog. As you can tell from this picture..It worked:). Hey you gotta do what you gotta do.


I was so proud of my little man. Once we got to the reception it was party time and my son was a dancing fool. He danced with the flower girl and it was the CUTEST thing I have ever seen. I just kept watching from the side. He makes me so happy:)
I even got in on a couple dances too, but once he had the flower girl I was old news.
It was such an amazing celebration and the only thing I have to say is Matt is a wonderful fit for Beth. He was a perfect groom and you just felt the love those two have for eachother. I am sooo happy for them!! Now if I could just get them to move closer to home.

Lastly, we finally got Conrad a new car. He will be sporting a white honda accord. Yes we are going to be that couple with matching cars:). Thats how much we love eachother.

Im still here..

Ahh life just got busy and I forgot all about this blog.

I had a month off from school and I took full advantage of it. Braxton and I have really enjoyed spending time together. We have made several trips to the zoo, library, and outside for "adventures." I have loved it, but now it makes it even more difficult to get back to school. Ahh why did I sign up for summer school again when its 93 degrees outside? That's just silly. Oh well..I am going to get a class out of the way so I will appreciate it when it is over.

More exciting news..Conrad and I just put an offer on a home. We are so excited and praying like crazy this is the one. It is just perfect for our family. However, I am trying as hard as I can not to get my hopes up because well lets face it stuff happens and I don't want to get discouraged. Whatever happens..happens and I know God is calling the shots that are best for us:) We will keep you posted. We should be hearing today the news. I am sooo impatient and just want to know NOW!

Lastly this weekend is Beth's wedding. I am sooo excited for this day! Braxton has been practicing and I pray he does what he is suppose to. We are picking up his tux Thursday so I am so excited to see my handsome son all dolled up. Trust me there will be lots of pictures that I will share.

I promise to write more soon:)

Beating the Odds

My first year at Bethel is coming to a close and I am so proud of myself and all the family members and friends that have supported me on this journey. It has been one heck of a journey. For me it wasn't just about doing school, it was managing to do it all. I am a wife, a mother, a tech, and now a student and lets be honest all those things take up a lot of time and energy. I know I have said this before, but before I had Braxton I had no desire in my life and never thought for a second I was capable of being more. That was my first problem, I didn't think I was capable. As I sit here writing this all I can think about is how far I have come. Have I made mistakes..Of course, but through those mistakes I have grown and refused to quit. I was 20 years old when I got pregnant and my whole life changed. I grew into the woman I was suppose to be. I let go of everything that was holding me down. I always thought I wasn't able to be what I wanted. When my handsome son was in my arms I woke up and realized NOTHING is stopping me, but myself. My son deserved the world and I was going to stop the excuses and move forward. I wasn't a teen mom, but I was close to it. A lot of teen mothers never finish school and I knew from the beginning I was going to beat those odds. I want to make a difference in this world. I want to be a nurse. I want to make my son proud of me. I also want him to know anything is possible when you put your mind to it. I am writing all this because I never want to forget this. I never want to forget the life I could have had and the life I am choosing to have. I work hard and I wont stop. I will beat the odds. All I can thank is God. Seriously it has been a hell of a year and yet he still has me pushing forward. Even when I want to stop he wont let me. Nursing school here I come. I hope you are ready for Mrs. Ashley Bontrager..because without a doubt I am ready for you.

Moving Forward

As you all know we were robbed a couple weeks ago and today I found out another person I know was robbed. It makes me so sick to know that a family is going through what we are going through. I have yet to feel comfortable and safe. Every time I think of that day I feel so disgusted. How can people do this to others? I don't get it. For me it isn't about the stuff at all, its all about the safety of my family. Unfortunately I was told with the weather getting nicer break ins are going to be happening more often. I found this really great article and I want to share it. If there is any information that can help others not go through what we have gone through I want to do that. I hope you can find this information valuable and most importantly help keep the ones you love safe.

There are some really great tips here: The best are near the end. Common sense applied in a vigorous way.


THIRTEEN THINGS YOUR BURGLAR WON'T TELL YOU:

1. Of course I look familiar. I was here just last week cleaning your carpets, painting your shutters, or delivering your new refrigerator.
2. Hey, thanks for letting me use the bathroom when I was working in your yard last week. While I was in there, I unlatched the back window to make my return a little easier.
3. Love those flowers. That tells me you have taste... and taste means there are nice things inside. Those yard toys your kids leave out always make me wonder what type of gaming system they have.
4. Yes, I really do look for newspapers piled up on the driveway. And I might leave a pizza flyer in your front door to see how long it takes you to remove it..
5. If it snows while you're out of town, get a neighbor to create car and foot tracks into the house. Virgin drifts in the driveway are a dead giveaway.
6. If decorative glass is part of your front entrance, don't let your alarm company install the control pad where I can see if it's set. That makes it too easy.
7. A good security company alarms the window over the sink. And the windows on the second floor, which often access the master bedroom - and your jewelry. It's not a bad idea to put motion detectors up there too.
8. It's raining, you're fumbling with your umbrella, and you forget to lock your door - understandable. But understand this: I don't take a day off because of bad weather.
9. I always knock first. If you answer, I'll ask for directions somewhere or offer to clean your gutters. (Don't take me up on it.)
10. Do you really think I won't look in your sock drawer? I always check dresser drawers, the bedside table, and the medicine cabinet.
11. Here's a helpful hint: I almost never go into kids' rooms.
12. You're right: I won't have enough time to break into that safe where you keep your valuables. But if it's not bolted down, I'll take it with me.
13. A loud TV or radio can be a better deterrent than the best alarm system. If you're reluctant to leave your TV on while you're out of town, you can buy a $35 device that works on a timer and simulates the flickering glow of a real television. (Find it athttp://www.faketv/..com/)

8 MORE THINGS A BURGLAR WON'T TELL YOU:

1. Sometimes, I carry a clipboard. Sometimes, I dress like a lawn guy and carry a rake. I do my best to never, ever look like a crook.
2. The two things I hate most: loud dogs and nosy neighbors.
3. I'll break a window to get in, even if it makes a little noise. If your neighbor hears one loud sound, he'll stop what he's doing and wait to hear it again. If he doesn't hear it again, he'll just go back to what he was doing. It's human nature.
4. I'm not complaining, but why would you pay all that money for a fancy alarm system and leave your house without setting it?
5. I love looking in your windows. I'm looking for signs that you're home, and for flat screen TVs or gaming systems I'd like. I'll drive or walk through your neighborhood at night, before you close the blinds, just to pick my targets.
6.Avoid announcing your vacation on your Facebook page. It's easier than you think to look up your address.
7. To you, leaving that window open just a crack during the day is a way to let in a little fresh air. To me, it's an invitation.
8. If you don't answer when I knock, I try the door. Occasionally, I hit the jackpot and walk right in.
Sources: Convicted burglars in North Carolina, Oregon, California, and Kentucky ; security consultant Chris McGoey, who runs
http://www.crimedoctor..com// and Richard T. Wright, a criminology professor at the University of Missouri-St. Louis, who interviewed 105 burglars for his book Burglars on the Job.

Protection for you and your home:

If you don't have a gun, here's a more humane way to wreck someone's evil plans for you. (I guess I can get rid of the baseball bat.):
WASP SPRAY

A friend who is a receptionist in a church in a high risk area was concerned about someone coming into the office on Monday to rob them when they were counting the collection. She asked the local police department about using pepper spray and they recommended to her that she get a can of wasp spray instead.

The wasp spray, they told her, can shoot up to twenty feet away and is a lot more accurate, while with the pepper spray, they have to get too close to you and could overpower you. The wasp spray temporarily blinds an attacker until they get to the hospital for an antidote. She keeps a can on her desk in the office and it doesn't attract attention from people like a can of pepper spray would. She also keeps one nearby at home for home protection. Thought this was interesting and might be of use.

FROM ANOTHER SOURCE

On the heels of a break-in and beating that left an elderly woman in Toledo dead, self-defense experts have a tip that could save your life.

Val Glinka teaches self-defense to students at Sylvania Southview High School. For decades, he's suggested putting a can of wasp and hornet spray near your door or bed.

Glinka says, "This is better than anything I can teach them."

Glinka considers it inexpensive, easy to find, and more effective than mace or pepper spray. The cans typically shoot 20 to 30 feet; so if someone tries to break into your home, Glinka says, "spray the culprit in the eyes". It's a tip he's given to students for decades. It's also one he wants everyone to hear. If you're looking for protection, Glinka says look to the spray.

"That's going to give you a chance to call the police; maybe get out."

Maybe even save a life.

Put your car keys beside your bed at night.

Tell your spouse, your children, your neighbors, your parents, your Dr.'s office, the check-out girl at the market, everyone you run across. Put your car keys beside your bed at night.

If you hear a noise outside your home or someone trying to get in your house, just press the panic button for your car. The alarm will be set off, and the horn will continue to sound until either you turn it off or the car battery dies. This tip came from a neighborhood watch coordinator. Next time you come home for the night and you start to put your keys away, think of this: It's a security alarm system that you probably already have and requires no installation. Test it. It will go off from most everywhere inside your house and will keep honking until your battery runs down or until you reset it with the button on the key fob chain. It works if you park in your driveway or garage. If your car alarm goes off when someone is trying to break into your house, odds are the burglar/rapist won't stick around. After a few seconds all the neighbors will be looking out their windows to see who is out there and sure enough the criminal won't want that. And remember to carry your keys while walking to your car in a parking lot. The alarm can work the same way there. This is something that should really be shared with everyone. Maybe it could save a life or a sexual abuse crime.

More than any family should have to take..

You might want to grab yourself something to eat or drink before you read this one because I have a feeling it is going to be rather long..

This past Friday I went through one of the most difficult days of my life. I spent a day in and out of the house. After my chem class I went home to drop off groceries and relax for a bit. However, last minute I decided to get a quick workout in at the gym before picking up B from school. After the gym I head to get B so we can go home. As I am pulling up to my house I see my walkout basement doors open and right then I know. I know what I am about to find out is my house has been broken in to. I pull up my driveway and notice the garage doors open. I kept filling my head with excuses that it's a family member in there so I leave B in the car and open the door to check (I realize this is so stupid and I should have never done it), but the second I open the door I see glass everywhere and run out like hell. I drive to the neighbors house bawling my eyes out calling the police. I also called my in-laws, my poor husband who was in Dallas, and my parents. My poor son in the backseat is just saying whats wrong Mommy don't cry. I get to the neighbors who try their best to calm me down and in my mind all I can think about is all the items in my house that are gone. I wait there until the police officer calls me and says I can come to my house now. At this time my whole family is there which made it a little easier having some support and also having someone watch Braxton because I didn't want him anywhere near this situation. As I walk up the police officer lets me know that the house has been broken into and he will walk me through every room and we can discuss what is missing. He informs me that they went through everything. Every cupboard open, every crawl space, every drawer. I kept thinking how could they do all this, I was gone less than 2 hours. I felt like I could throw up. Walking into every room finding things that are now gone is pure torture. I will never forget walking up to my bedroom and seeing the disaster. Lets just say they were not neat in any way. I also will never forget when the officer asked me if any jewelry was missing. Right when he said it the worst feeling in my stomach arrived and all I said was my wedding rings are gone. I knew they were gone before I even looked. I had taken off my rings to go to the gym and left them on my dresser because I figured in my own home was safer than sitting in my car. When I finally looked and saw they were gone I was done. I didn't even want to see what was all gone because I no longer cared. Those people stole numerous things from us, but those rings are so memorable to me that I cannot go a day without thinking about them. I would play with them constantly and now every time I do it out of habit I cry. My husband asked me to marry him the day after Braxton was born in the hospital. Those rings don't just represent my love for my husband, they really represent the love I have for both of these boys. Just writing these words makes me cry because I hate the fact that someone can take away that memory from me just to cash in. After everything was said and done I walked away hoping to wake up from this nightmare, but I still haven't. Everyone says to me be grateful that you and Braxton were not home and no one understands how much I get that. However, the issue with that is I cannot stop thinking about what if we were. What would I have done? What could I do? Would they have hurt me? Would they hurt my son? Those questions makes me so sick I cannot stand it and my whole sense of security is completely gone. I am completely haunted not just by what did happen, but what could happen. Just last night I must have checked on Braxton sleeping 10 times in 1 hour. Conrad and Braxton are my life and the thought that someone could break into my house during the day makes me think what else will people do. I know everyday will get better and I cannot wait until the day I can wake up and go to bed not in tears. I feel so destroyed and I am not sure how long it will take me to get over. All I know is I am doing everything in my power to do what I can. I feel like this year has been hell for our family. I mean seriously I don't mean to throw my own pity party, but my son broke his femur 6 months ago, my husband has been traveling like crazy and just got in a car accident less than 4 weeks ago, I am working my butt off in school, and now this. No one should have to go through all this. All I can do is pray for peace and hope every day gets a little easier. It has to.

I really just want to thank everyone that is supporting us through this difficult time. Your words of encouragement and prayers mean more than you could know. We love you all very much.

Making My Dream a Reality..

So today has been a horrible day to say the least. I woke up with a cranky kid who has been suffering some funky illness. Today he still had a runny nose, but was ok to go to school. However, my child has been refusing to go and saying he wants to stay home with Mommy. After taking him to school and having to have Ann rip him off me I sat in my car crying. I felt like a horrible mother, the whole mommy guilt just took control over me and I cried for a while driving in my car. I just feel an immense amount of stress right now. I am going to school, trying to be a good mother, and dealing with a traveling husband. Did I also mention we are looking for a new car and a new home. As exciting as those things are they also take a lot of time and work. Time and work that I just don't have right now. Anyways in my car driving to my hair appointment I just let all my extreme sensitivity run through me, every one needs to take that time where you just let the crocodile tears run and that's exactly what I did. As I am driving on the bypass all the sudden my car starts shaking uncontrollably. I pull over and you guessed it I have a flat tire. I just looked in the sky and said really what is your point? I got in my car and just was like I don't even know what to do..where is the restart button on this day because I would love to hit it. However, a wonderful firefighter came to my rescue and changed my tire. God love them. I went to my hair appointment and luckily Kristi, the spunkiest girl ever, put me in a better mood. However, when I left I felt the pressure of getting to my to do list. You know its always back to reality. As I get to the house I check the mailbox and right on top sits a letter to me from Bethel College. All I could think was God could totally make this the best day ever for me. See I applied for the nursing program last week and knew this week I would find out if I got it. When I applied I was told there weren't many spots left so I was just praying all my hard work this semester would pay off. As I was opening the envelope I seriously started shaking. I have wanted to be a nurse for so long and in this envelope read my fate. I opened it and read that I Ashley Bontrager was ACCEPTED into the Nursing Program!!! To say I am happy is an understatement. I am over the moon and this is just the beginning. Nursing school isn't going to be easy, but I feel so blessed that I have made it to this point. Just wait people before you know it I will be Ashley Bontrager, RN:)

12 days?

Well today my husband left for 12 days to be in Dallas for work. This will hopefully be the last trip away for a while. Usually I am ok with him leaving, I mean I don't like it but a week goes fast and with school it doesn't seem so bad. However, this time it just hit me hard. I think it is because these next 2 weeks are really huge for me with school and Braxton has been acting up since Conrad has been gone a lot. I just want these 2 weeks to fly by so we can get back to a normal life. I appreciate everything my husband does for us and I am beyond blessed to have a hard working man in my life. He sacrifices a lot for us.

The positive part of this week is my partner in crime, Kouse Whittaker, is home for spring break. I am so excited to spend quality time with her and so is Braxton. In fact yesterday we were over at my parents and my momma and Kouse left to go do something and Braxton was so upset that Aunt Kelsey was leaving him. He loves to play with her and thinks she is just great:).

Today Kouse and I are going out to dinner with our cousins:) I am so excited to spend quality time with family & I really think I need it today. Braxton is going to spend some time with Nana & Papa who he has wrapped around his finger. Should be a great day for us both.

Paleo Recipe..

This imagine makes you think doesn't it??

I have always been into health and fitness and I have done the paleo diet on and off for so long its ridiculous, but the truth of the matter is when I do it I feel great. My workouts are unbelievable and I have more energy then I know what to do with, not to mention my weight stays where I want it:). Anyways long story short I am determined to make it a lifestyle choice for my entire family. The truth is it wont be much different from the way things already are, but now I am determined to make it consistent. Since I have been doing it so long I know what works and plenty of recipes I love. I am going to make an effort to share the recipes I make because I think when people realize it isn't all that crazy maybe they will get the opportunity to enjoy the benefits.

Tonight I used my favorite cooking tool - The crock pot. That baby is wonderful for a busy mother. This AM I threw in every vegetable I had in my house. Celery, sweet potatoes, mushrooms, onions, and carrots along with a roast that I had just put black pepper, salt, and garlic powder on. I added about a cup of organic beef broth and let that baby cook for 6-8 hours. It was amazing and we have plenty of left overs.

If you are interested in looking at paleo recipes. I truly suggest everydaypaleo.com. This is a mother who feeds her family paleo and she has some great recipes that rock. Enjoy.

Hurry Up Busy Season & Get Out Of Here...

Well after a wonderful spring break I am back to school..Yuck. However, I have officially applied for the nursing program at Bethel and in two weeks I will know if I am in. Pretty exciting stuff. Braxton went back to school after spending an entire week with his Momma. I think we were both bummed to get back to the grind, but we did it. Conrad is working this week in New Buffalo so he gets to be home with us this week. Busy season has taken its toll on all of us and I am glad to see that it is almost over. I have never seen someone work so much in my life and I am just so proud that he does it without a complaint(well most of the time). I feel awful for Braxton because he is missing Daddy so much. Conrad came home last Friday from a week away and put Braxton to bed, after Conrad went downstairs I heard Braxton crying. I went in the room and asked him what was going on and he just said I didn't want my Daddy to leave because when I wake up I know he will be at work again. It broke my heart. Braxton adores his father so much and the relationship these boys have makes me feel so blessed. Not only do I feel bad for Brax, but I know how much it hurts Conrad that he can't be with him all the time when he is away on a client. I keep saying this time will past and busy season is almost over in about 3 weeks. THANK GOD! We cannot wait to have our family back together all the time. Even though it is so hard having Conrad away alot I am so lucky he supports this family so I can go to school. We are in this together:)

Will I ever be able to fill it again?

As you know from my previous posts we have moved Braxton into a big boy bed and now sits an empty crib in the other room. Many people know my secret, but for the most part I keep this secret to myself mostly because it is something that is destroying me. About a year ago I started having issues and had multiple ultrasounds. I was diagnosed with polycystic ovarian syndrome. Most people with this condition have fertility issues. Basically you don't have normal cycles and many months I have gone with no ovulation. My doctor has informed me that she thinks I will have more kids because I have had one successfully, but with age it will get worse. As this year has gone by I have noticed my cycles farther apart and little ovulation. Hard to believe at 24 years old I would learn that maybe this is it for me. Now I walk by this crib and it hits me, I may never get to use it again. To say it kills me is an understatement. My whole life I have dreamed of being a mother to tons of kids. Being a mom to Braxton is my world. I truly believe it is what I was destined to do. I guess the hardest part right now is Braxton daily asks me for a sibling and the thought that I might never be able to give it to him just kills me. As a mother you want to give your child the world and the relationships I have with my siblings makes me want that for him. All I can do is pray that God gives me a chance to do this again in my life. This is my opportunity to speak out and let it go. At some point I have to stop stressing about it and let it be. I know God will take care of us and I just have to believe in that.