Maize

So you all know we have a new love in our life..our yellow lab puppy Maize. He is now 4 months old and becoming quite a BIG boy. Let me tell you this past week I was ready to sell him on ebay. Lets just say the rain made him crazy and he wasn't listening to me at all. However, this week I was reminded why we do love Maize so much. Braxton and Maize have this amazing bond already and I honestly love it. Maize seriously follows Braxton EVERYWHERE! Maize is really a great addition to our family and I know he is going to be a great dog for our future.

With Maize I have learned a lot. I have never had a boy dog before in my life. My dad always had girl hunting dogs and I always stuck with that myself. Conrad, however, was raised with boy dogs and of course when we decided to get a lab Braxton and Conrad decided it was going to be a boy. I guess the thing I cannot stand the most..and I know this isn't proper language..is when he gets excited and his lil willy pops out. My all time favorite thing is when Braxton first noticed it. He was repulsed and being a Mother it just wasn't the best conversation I have ever had in my life. Now every time he gets one Braxton yells out Mommy Maize has a serection (yes he calls an erection a serection). He also yells at Maize to put it away because it isn't polite. Honestly, every time it happens I die laughing. I mean what else can you do?

I am sure there will be more funny experiences with Maize and I look forward to them. Of course we will share them. For now we are enjoying our new full of life puppy:)

My Best Friend:)

Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary. I feel beyond blessed that I am married to such a wonderful man. Conrad and I got married on our 5 year anniversary and we have been together a total of 8 years, and I can honestly say every year just keeps getting better and better.

Conrad has given me more than I ever thought possible and is truly my best friend. I feel honored to be his wife and even more lucky that together we are growing a wonderful family.
Conrad thanks for loving me no matter what and pushing me to grow everyday. You are the love of my life and I cannot wait to see what our future holds together.

Joys Of Pregnancy

So this pregnancy has been VERY different from the first. I went into preterm labor with Braxton at 32 weeks, but was able to control contractions and had him just 2 weeks early..that was a breeze compared to all the complications of this pregnancy and we aren't even done yet. I think I have honestly had every symptoms in the book and the new one I am experienceing is heartburn. I have found that drinking milk has been a huge help which is funny because milk use to be repulsive to me and now I cannot live without it. Lets just put it this way we go through atleast 2 gallons of milk a week. Even though the pregnancy in the beginning started off rough and really a little scary things have started to get much better. I am knocking on wood right now as we speak. Anyways I really am just trying to just enjoy being pregnant besides the whole getting bigger, finding it more and more uncomfortable to tie my shoes, and barley being able to breath a lot of the time. However, it is such a joy feeling this new life inside me and Braxton becoming more and more excited to meet his new sibling just makes it better. As far as cravings go I am obsessed with sweets and salt. I crave them both which is bad because neither one if the best thing for me. Its seriouly so bad though. For example, last night my mother-in-law made these killer pumpkin seeds with salt all over them. I started eating them and yelled at my husband for even putting them in my hands. I had to move them away from myself and then everytime I looked at them I was like a dog with salvia falling out on my mouth. It's soo horrible.

We are really in getting ready for baby mode. I have washed mostly everything and the nursery actually looks like a nursery. Of course it isn't finished and wont be completely until we find out what the baby is. We are sooo soo excited to meet this little one and know what it is. A lot of people think I am having a little girl because the pregnancy is so different from Braxton, but to be honest my gut still tells me it's another little boy. I really don't know why except for the fact that I think I am destined to have all boys. To be perfectly honest though I don't have a prefence what so ever. I look at Braxton and I just think I would for sure have another one of those, but it would also be great to have a little girl. At this point I know when we find out we are both going to be sooo overjoyed and we just want a healthy little baby. Can you tell I am so excited??

It will be here before we know it..

I told you so..

I hate the phrase I told you so and I hate it even more when it comes from my husband. I seriously will put myself in misery before I will allow my husband to know he was completely right on something or more importantly that I was completely wrong. However, last night I will let it be known I was wrong. Since we moved in our new house we have fixed all of the locks and in our garage we added a lock that can lock the door, but you can still open it from the other side. Now I am a FREAK about making sure all doors are locked at all times. My husband always tells me make sure you never lock the garage because you will one day lock yourself out of the house. I remember the exact look I gave him when he told me this and it was something like what idiot would lock themselves out? Well that idiot was me. I had just put Braxton to bed and decided I need to get the trash together and put outside. I also knew I needed to get Maize out for a little bit because the rain had made him crazy and he just needed to be outside for a bit. Anyways I get out my garage and take out the trash. I walk Maize around the yard and decide to head in. As I go to open the door the worst feeling happened in my stomach. I was locked out of the house. I ran to every door in the pouring rain and every door is locked. All I could think of is my baby is inside, I have no cell phone, and I am going to break one of my windows (yes I am that dramatic). After freaking out for a minute I finally got myself together and I realized my child is 4 years old and is probably still awake in his room. I run to the window and yell to Braxton who gets up and says Mom where are you? After explaining everything to him he came to my rescue and opened the front door. I immediatley grabbed him and thanked him. He had the biggest smile on his face because he knew he saved his Mommy. After I put him back in bed I also got the biggest lecture from my 4 year old. It went something like no more taking the trash out at night because you can't see and never lock yourself out of the house again. However, if you do lock yourself out next time you need to make sure you yell louder from outside the window because apparently Braxton couldn't hear me all that well. Seriously being locked out of your house when your child is inside is such a horrible feeling. I am just grateful Braxton was awake and I didn't pull a stupid move like trying to break down the door.

Now I should have just kept this all to myself, but I knew Braxton was going to tell his Daddy the news because he was just so proud of himself and that is exactly what happened when Conrad talked to him. And you all know my husband wanted to say I told you so..so here it is Conrad you were right...but just this time:)

To Discipline or Not To Discipline

Now when I talk about my son I mostly have all positive things to say and for the most part he is exceptional, but recently I have been experiencing a lot of "talking back." I never dealt with the terrible 2s or really even terrible 3s so this sassyness is something new to me for the most part. I probably shouldn't even say that because people might hate me now. However, now we are experiencing some bossyness from my 4 year old that I would LOVE to live without. For example, yesterday as I am trying to get everything in the house with all the rain I tell Braxton to please take his shoes off before he comes inside and he yells back you take your shoes off Mommy mine are staying on. Um excuse me sir who are you talking to? He usually quickly replies I am just kidding.. or in his language he says I am just bekidding (don't ask me why, but thats how he pronounces it). Anyways this is becoming his normal just saying something sassy back at me. I cannot stand it and last night I had had enough. Now as parents we all know discipline is usually harder on the parent than the child. Last night I was totally reminded of that. I think Conrad and I do a great job with discipline. We are good at following through, but last night I sooo badly wanted to give in. Braxton LOVES storytime and last night he lost that privledge. Saying this kid cried wouldn't do it justice, he was to the point of hyperventilation. You know that over the top crying. Now I don't know if anyone is like me, but when I see that dramatic cry I can't help but laugh. For Braxton, not getting a story was the end of his world and I couldn't help but laugh thinking kid this is nothing. I kept having to turn my head away. Now I knew Braxton felt bad about being sassy, but I had to stick to my guns even though it would have been a lot easier to just say ok your sorry lets read.

Braxton got over it and today is a new day. I told my husband later that night how bad I felt. Braxton just kept saying your the one who is being mean and I kept having to go back to why we had to do this. Man I hate discipline, but I also look at how good Braxton is most of the time and realize that didn't just happen over night. I discipline him because I love him and I want to set him up to be the best person he can be. I just wish the crocodile tears didn't have to come with it.

Preparing for baby!

Every week I feel like we are getting more and more organized in this house and it is awesome to see things coming together. This week we actually got our garage to the point where I can park my car in it. It is a wonderful thing. The truly exciting part is getting all the baby stuff out and organized. It is funny that we have had stuff put away for over 3 years and bringing it all back out brings back so many memories. Just gets us all so excited for whats about to come. It is also so exciting to have Braxton be so involved. We went to the library and got a ton of books about being a big brother and what to expect when the baby comes home. Braxton has a lot of questions and also he is learning a lot about the baby he was. We talked about what the baby needs and some things babies do and he found it very interesting that a while back this is what he was like when he was a baby. My favorite part was reading about the baby talking and Braxton asked me what his first words were when he was a baby. I unfortunately had to tell him he said Dada. He quickly said Mommy what if the baby says my name first. His face lite up so much and now he is constantly telling the baby who he is and what his name is. We have also signed Braxton up for a Super Siblings class. This gives him an opportunity to learn about babies hands on and also see where we are going to have the baby. I am really excited to take him to this class and see his reaction to it all. I really want to prepare Braxton for this baby as much as I can. I cannot lie Braxton is the only grandchild on the Bontrager side so he is pretty spoiled and even though the Whittaker side has 5 grandchildren he still gets plenty of attention. Not to mention Braxton is an only child meaning he is very much the center of attention. I know he is going to be a great big brother, but I also know he is going to have a struggle learning that he isn't the only one anymore. I cannot lie that I am a little nervous as to how I will juggle both kids. Braxton is my side kick and honestly we do just about everything together and adding a new love to my life just seems hard for me to believe. I am over the moon with excitement and I know our family is going to blossom so much from this new life. Conrad keeps telling me he just cannot wait for the little one to be here. I think it just isn't real to him until he has that little baby in his arms. For me I am constantly feeling a baby inside me so I know its there and coming..It will be here before we know it. With all my complications the doctor just told me he wants me to make it to 34 weeks which completely freaked me out because thats Christmas basically. I am hoping this baby and I work together and go to term so I have stuck by my restrictions and made sure I am always listening to my body. At this point we are just enjoying preparing for a new baby.

I have officially started my online classes this week which so far so good. Although I truly think online classes are way harder than going to class. However, 7 weeks will fly by and then I will have these classes out of the way. It will make it sooo much easier in the fall.

Well now on to my homework..more updates soon:)

Sunday Funday!

There are no words to describe how much I look forward to Sundays. We have a very special routine and its something that honestly gets me through the week. Every Sunday we wake up as a family and have some special time together. Usually consists of breakfast and a walk for Maize. After that its time to get ready for our favortie thing..Church service. Conrad and I get a morning coffee and then its off to our other home. What I love most about Sundays is Braxton's excitiment for Church. He truly has a love for God and every day I see God in him more and more. Seriously to see your child growing in his faith at 4 years old will make any grown up want more for their life as well. These past couple months church has been everything I have wanted it to be. I grew up in church since I was a baby and I totally blame myself for waiting this long to truly find God. Now maybe it was because I was younger and I wasn't really listening and truly selfish, but when I was younger church for me was a chore. It was something I had to do and I never felt close to it. I can honestly say God wasn't someone I knew and it wasn't until I had my newborn baby in my arms did I realize how much I was truly missing. It has been a journey, but for the first time in my life I am listening and it is changing my life. God has changed my life in a way I never imagined and there is still SOOOO much room for growth. Conrad and I have faced many obstacles and there is a reason we are where we are now. We are far from perfect, but I guarentee we wouldn't be as successful as we are if it wasn't for our faith. With God by our side there is nothing we cannot face. We have had a share of struggles and seriously the last couple weeks in service have answered my prayers. To sit in a chair and just cry for help to God and have Sunday come and give you light on the exact issue just makes me forever grateful. I just feel so lucky right now and have to be able to share it.

After church Braxton and I took off for the park with Maize. We wore that puppy out and also ourselves. We truly love having a park in our neighborhood that has plenty of space for the dog to run and Braxton time to "escape aliens." Braxton has quite the imagination these days and he truly can find a way to play with anything and I mean anything. Anyways at the park he usually fights aliens and tries to escape them. It is such a funny scene and I get to watch:). On on way back to the house, the Kona truck came by and Braxton was able to get a slushy so I think his Sunday is quite complete. I seriously cannot tell you how much I love living in our subdivision.

Now we are enjoying some quite time since Braxton slept horribly last night. Braxton usually never naps, but with him being up a lot last night he for sure needs it. I think this weather might be effecting his alleriges. Hopefully he will get a little nap in and maybe this moma should try to do that herself. However, one chore Conrad and I want to tackle today is the baby's room. You think you'd be able to walk in the baby's room..yeah we can't. It is filled with all types of baby stuff and not organized at all and I figure since we are more then halfway through and on the verge of busy season we should get to it. A little at a time and it will get there:). This house will get there eventually I know it will..we might just need some help along the way.

I hope everyone is enjoying this Sunday as much as we are..:)

Update

So this past weekend I have had horrible cramping along with some spotting. I of course went into see the doctor again this am. I have seriously been there every week this month. We did another ultrasound, which I believe is my 5th one this pregnancy, and doctor believes it is in my best interest to take it as easy as possible. This unfortunately means no more working at the hospital. He felt that my job description doesn't fit with this pregnancy. So now here I am taking online classes and trying as hard as I can to take it easy. Braxton goes to preschool for a couple hours a day so luckily we get a lot more one on one time which is nice. Couple hours to do schoolwork and then time to focus on Braxton. With this new change, however, comes a lot of guilt. I feel very betrayed by my own body. I guess its because I feel like I was very active before my pregnancy and was fit so shouldn't this pregnancy be going smoother? I so badly want to be able to do it all and not leave all the finances on my husband's shoulders. I never thought at 22 weeks I would be told I have to take it easy. It is very difficult for me to sit around and feel like I am not doing everything I should be doing. This is all my issue though because Conrad constantly reminds me it will be ok and I have a way bigger job than he does, making sure our baby stays safe. He is very good to me and I keep reminded myself that God wouldn't put us in a situation we couldn't handle. I came across this today and I thought how perfect is this.."The will of God will never put you in a place where the Grace of God wont protect you." All I can do is what I am capable of doing and pray that God will take care of us.

I am hoping I can maybe find a way to financially help this family by doing something I can handle..if anyone needs some special hands let me know:) I know I don't need to work, but I just guess I want to feel like I am doing something. Conrad keeps saying I am with taking care of the household and Braxton, but I guess I just want to find a way to do more.

I hope everyone is having a great week. These last two days have been BEAUTIFUL. Exactly what I love about the fall weather:). My favorite part is I am not running a single thing in this house..no A/C..No heat..I am going to enjoy my gas bill when I get it:).

Beautiful Wedding..

This weekend my sister got married to a wonderful man named Adam. The wedding was perfect and beautiful. Braxton was the ring bearer and I was a bridesmaid. Braxton had a couple meltdowns, but he did as good as he could. He just was having an off day in the beginning. It probably was from the not getting enough sleep from the night before with the rehearsal dinner. He was just not up for taking pictures which was super frustrating because here we were out on the Notre Dame football field and everyone was working so hard to get the kid to smile. Luckily we ended up getting him to work it out and got some great photos. You never know what you are going to get with a 4 year old. However, the best part was Braxton walking down the aisle with his cousin Brenna. They were soo cute. Braxton just kept talking to Brenna the whole way down the aisle and had everyone laughing and smiling just because they were adorable and your typical 4 year old kids. At the end I was really proud of how he did and grateful that we made it through.

Now we are back to reality. Braxton started back at preschool this week and I have been trying as hard as I can to take it easy, which is not easy at all for a woman who is always on the go. Even at the wedding when I wanted to dance my body kept saying nope. It is hard for me to stand still, but I am learning that it is something that has to be done for the sake of my child. I am very thankful that I have a great son who is very patient with me and a dog who has learned to deal with me as well. Braxton and Maize are the best of friends and are learning to help me out. My husband has also been great. I have to be honest I feel super guilty when I cannot do things, but he is the one always reminding me it is ok. For example, I had to drop my micro class this semester because my doctor thinks I will be put on bedrest if things keep countining the way they are going and it would be in my best interest to take things online. That was super hard for me to do, but I was able to add classes online towards my nursing classes so may be it is a blessing in disguise. I guess if anything I have learned through this pregnancy it is rolling with the punches. At this point it is all I can do and I am just grateful to have a great support system. I keep telling myself it will all be sooo worth it and I know it will:)