6 years ago..

Romans 5:8 "But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us." Tonight as I am reading I come up to this passage. For some reason it really struck a nerve inside my heart and immediately gave me goosebumps. All I can think of in this moment is I have a son who turned 6 yesterday. I have been beyond moved by this little boy for SIX whole years. He's changed me in so many ways in 6 years I couldn't even beginning to tell you. However, one of the biggest things Braxton has brought to my life is my faith. When I had Braxton I was 20 years old. I wasn't married even though I was very much in love. I didn't have anything behind my name. I was very much still a child. Even through my pregnancy I was naive and had no clue how big of a deal this really was. I was terrified. However, when I held this little life in my hands on July 17th 2007 at 1:09 p.m. I had been giving an opportunity to grow up right there or continue the excuses of how I would never be anything. I looked at this little boy and realized my life would entirely be about giving him everything he deserved. What can I say I was big time in love and nothing was going to stop me from changing my world. See I grew up in a Church, but I never once felt like I knew who God was. I believed in him, but I didn't love him like he had already loved me. I had realized to be the best Mother I could be I had to find a way to make it in this crazy life. God was my way. I cannot tell you how many times Conrad and I thought we weren't going to make it, but we relied on God and we relied on the fact that no matter what we were in this together. Conrad has and always will be my soul mate, the man who God gave me to push me through and love me when I don't deserve it. 6 years ago Conrad was going to school full time, working, and honestly showing me how to be the best parent. I was working full-time trying to get him through school and trying my best to be a good Mom. I cannot lie and say there weren't tears shed because there were plenty. Life for sure was a struggle. But when stuff got bad I always knew we were doing the right thing and God was going to take care of us. Looking at us now we are happily married, Conrad graduated with 2 degrees and now has a successful career, I am 1 year away from graduating nursing school, we have a beautiful home, we have TWO handsome and loving boys, and the most loving and supportive family and friends people could ask for. That's all God right there because we didn't deserve any of it. We were sinners, and Christ still died for us. My story is simple. I was a failure. I was no one. I was a sinner. God still believed in me when I didn't believe in myself. He put this amazing child in my life and immediately brought me to a whole new place of what my purpose really is. My point here is simple no one is perfect. No one has a story that isn't a little rocky. However, you can stand by that story or you can change your story. No matter what God's pulling for you.