The crazy journey of parenting..

Deuteronomy 6:7 You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. When Braxton went to Kindergarten I had this immense fear that Braxton would change who he was. I was afraid he would be so influenced by others that he would lose himself. Since Braxton has been in our lives his heart has always been the biggest and his love for others is beautiful. I have received so many compliments about his sweetness and love. It's something as a mother you wish for and I get the privileged of seeing it everyday. I constantly am reminded how lucky I am to have a child with a heart like his. I do believe without a doubt that God is doing work with Braxton that will change lives for so many people. NO DOUBT. Anyways when he went to kindergarten all I could think of was myself in middle school. I was this young little girl who desperately wanted people to like me and I would do just about anything to be that cool girl. The cool girls got the boys, got the attention, and everyone wanted to be like them. I without a doubt changed myself and it wasn't up until high school that I got over it. I realized how little it mattered and I needed to be me. Quiet frankly I was exhausted of having to care so much about what others thought of me. I've grown so much in the last 10 years I don't even see that old me anymore. Now I am well aware that my baby is 6 and things will challenge him in many different ways through the years, but one thing I truly believe is it comes back to the home. In this house we walk the Jesus way. My pastor would be so proud of me for using this phrase by the way, but it is true. However, I don't by any means throw anything down my children's throats. I will never make them go get baptized if they don't choose this path for themselves or force them to go to a bible study with me with them kicking and screaming that they don't want to. My job is to show them and what they do with it is up to them. However, with that being said I am not quiet about my love for God or teaching his ways in this house. I think right now that is strongly shown in my oldest. He is 6 years old and last night we had one of the most inspiring conversations that made my heart grow miles. Last night as we are saying our prayers and having our personal one on one time Braxton opened up to me about a friend at school. He talked about this young boy who is different from him. This boy has to have a walker, wear braces on his legs, and Braxton says no one really talks much to him. As Braxton is talking about this young boy he starts to cry. And it isn't just tears he starts sobbing. I of course was right there sobbing with him. He tells me repeatedly that he doesn't get why God would make life so difficult for a young boy. Braxton didn't think it was fair that this boy couldn't walk or run on the playground. Braxton hates that kids stay away from him because they thought they could "catch," whatever he has. This is exactly who my son is. He wears his heart so much on his sleeve and when you hurt he honestly hurts for you. He wants everyone to have everything good and when he feels someone is being mistreated he is not happy. What hurt me the most is Braxton was mad for the first time at God. He loves God so much and he tells me constantly how perfect our God is. So for him to question God was a reality I knew we would get to, but one I wasn't sure how to deal with. As Braxton was crying I told him that God is perfect and even though his plan might not make any type of sense to us we have to keep our faith in it because it's Gods plan not ours. I asked Braxton what would be the best thing he could do for his friend and he just smiled and said whatever I can to make him happy. The biggest thing I told Braxton was I was proud of him for wanting to do something good for his friend and more importantly I was BEYOND proud of the fact that he didn't follow the path of others. He's standing up for whats right and realizing his responsibility that God has given us all and that is to help others. We talked more into details, but I wont bore you with the specifics. After Braxton got off the bus this afternoon he smiled and said, "Mom I made him smile today." As I hugged my boy I felt warm tears of pure joy run down my face. I know there are going to be days that Braxton and I wont agree on decisions and there are going to be days where we both let each other down. However, we are going to keep talking and keep loving through it all. As people keep warning me that kids will be kids and they will disappoint you I am going to keep being naive and believe that God is always going to keep us strong and together. We are going to move mountains together and I'm very much excited for the journey.