Update

So this past weekend I have had horrible cramping along with some spotting. I of course went into see the doctor again this am. I have seriously been there every week this month. We did another ultrasound, which I believe is my 5th one this pregnancy, and doctor believes it is in my best interest to take it as easy as possible. This unfortunately means no more working at the hospital. He felt that my job description doesn't fit with this pregnancy. So now here I am taking online classes and trying as hard as I can to take it easy. Braxton goes to preschool for a couple hours a day so luckily we get a lot more one on one time which is nice. Couple hours to do schoolwork and then time to focus on Braxton. With this new change, however, comes a lot of guilt. I feel very betrayed by my own body. I guess its because I feel like I was very active before my pregnancy and was fit so shouldn't this pregnancy be going smoother? I so badly want to be able to do it all and not leave all the finances on my husband's shoulders. I never thought at 22 weeks I would be told I have to take it easy. It is very difficult for me to sit around and feel like I am not doing everything I should be doing. This is all my issue though because Conrad constantly reminds me it will be ok and I have a way bigger job than he does, making sure our baby stays safe. He is very good to me and I keep reminded myself that God wouldn't put us in a situation we couldn't handle. I came across this today and I thought how perfect is this.."The will of God will never put you in a place where the Grace of God wont protect you." All I can do is what I am capable of doing and pray that God will take care of us.

I am hoping I can maybe find a way to financially help this family by doing something I can handle..if anyone needs some special hands let me know:) I know I don't need to work, but I just guess I want to feel like I am doing something. Conrad keeps saying I am with taking care of the household and Braxton, but I guess I just want to find a way to do more.

I hope everyone is having a great week. These last two days have been BEAUTIFUL. Exactly what I love about the fall weather:). My favorite part is I am not running a single thing in this house..no A/C..No heat..I am going to enjoy my gas bill when I get it:).