More than any family should have to take..

You might want to grab yourself something to eat or drink before you read this one because I have a feeling it is going to be rather long..

This past Friday I went through one of the most difficult days of my life. I spent a day in and out of the house. After my chem class I went home to drop off groceries and relax for a bit. However, last minute I decided to get a quick workout in at the gym before picking up B from school. After the gym I head to get B so we can go home. As I am pulling up to my house I see my walkout basement doors open and right then I know. I know what I am about to find out is my house has been broken in to. I pull up my driveway and notice the garage doors open. I kept filling my head with excuses that it's a family member in there so I leave B in the car and open the door to check (I realize this is so stupid and I should have never done it), but the second I open the door I see glass everywhere and run out like hell. I drive to the neighbors house bawling my eyes out calling the police. I also called my in-laws, my poor husband who was in Dallas, and my parents. My poor son in the backseat is just saying whats wrong Mommy don't cry. I get to the neighbors who try their best to calm me down and in my mind all I can think about is all the items in my house that are gone. I wait there until the police officer calls me and says I can come to my house now. At this time my whole family is there which made it a little easier having some support and also having someone watch Braxton because I didn't want him anywhere near this situation. As I walk up the police officer lets me know that the house has been broken into and he will walk me through every room and we can discuss what is missing. He informs me that they went through everything. Every cupboard open, every crawl space, every drawer. I kept thinking how could they do all this, I was gone less than 2 hours. I felt like I could throw up. Walking into every room finding things that are now gone is pure torture. I will never forget walking up to my bedroom and seeing the disaster. Lets just say they were not neat in any way. I also will never forget when the officer asked me if any jewelry was missing. Right when he said it the worst feeling in my stomach arrived and all I said was my wedding rings are gone. I knew they were gone before I even looked. I had taken off my rings to go to the gym and left them on my dresser because I figured in my own home was safer than sitting in my car. When I finally looked and saw they were gone I was done. I didn't even want to see what was all gone because I no longer cared. Those people stole numerous things from us, but those rings are so memorable to me that I cannot go a day without thinking about them. I would play with them constantly and now every time I do it out of habit I cry. My husband asked me to marry him the day after Braxton was born in the hospital. Those rings don't just represent my love for my husband, they really represent the love I have for both of these boys. Just writing these words makes me cry because I hate the fact that someone can take away that memory from me just to cash in. After everything was said and done I walked away hoping to wake up from this nightmare, but I still haven't. Everyone says to me be grateful that you and Braxton were not home and no one understands how much I get that. However, the issue with that is I cannot stop thinking about what if we were. What would I have done? What could I do? Would they have hurt me? Would they hurt my son? Those questions makes me so sick I cannot stand it and my whole sense of security is completely gone. I am completely haunted not just by what did happen, but what could happen. Just last night I must have checked on Braxton sleeping 10 times in 1 hour. Conrad and Braxton are my life and the thought that someone could break into my house during the day makes me think what else will people do. I know everyday will get better and I cannot wait until the day I can wake up and go to bed not in tears. I feel so destroyed and I am not sure how long it will take me to get over. All I know is I am doing everything in my power to do what I can. I feel like this year has been hell for our family. I mean seriously I don't mean to throw my own pity party, but my son broke his femur 6 months ago, my husband has been traveling like crazy and just got in a car accident less than 4 weeks ago, I am working my butt off in school, and now this. No one should have to go through all this. All I can do is pray for peace and hope every day gets a little easier. It has to.

I really just want to thank everyone that is supporting us through this difficult time. Your words of encouragement and prayers mean more than you could know. We love you all very much.