To Indy We Go . . .

Well Braxton has been out of the cast for about 2 months and I have been frustrated with his surgeon. I kept giving him the chance to make changes, but he never has. For one, I have been asking my doctor for physical therapy since the cast came off, but he still says it is not needed. Which I have never understood how he knows that because the man has never seen my son walk, he also has never taken off his shoes to truly examine his leg length difference. Most importantly I just feel like he is not giving my son the attention he needs so I decided I am taking matters into my own hands and getting a second opinion. My WONDERFUL Pediatrician who I seriously cannot say enough good things about has recommended a pediatric surgeon who works at St. Vincents hospital in Indy. I already like this new surgeon because he works at Peyton Manning Children's Hospital, but that is besides the point. I am just praying I get some good information and a better plan for Braxton's leg. Even if I am completely overreacting that is totally ok as long as I get some assurance that we are doing everything we need to be doing for my little man. The kid still has a horrible limp and I just want to make sure I do everything in my power so he doesn't have any long term issues.

So we are driving down to Indy this Monday and my mother and sister will be driving along with us. Conrad unfortunately will be out of town for work so he will be missing out. I am hoping this trip will be worth it and we get some information we need.

Kelsey is mostly excited to stop to get some PF Chang's:) We are also thinking about making it a fun trip so if anyone has any ideas please let me in out it. Also pray for Braxton because I know he is getting over this going to a doctor all the time. I also know how traumatized he is by all this and it truly kills me. Every time he falls he is afraid he is going to break his leg and I can already see him babying it. I just hope we are taking a step in the right direction. We will wait and see...Keep everyone posted.

Loving the Holidays

We have been loving the Holidays and the memories we are making:). Braxton and I made our first gingerbread house together. I should have read the directions though because apparently when you first put the house together you should 15 minutes before you decorate it..Now I know why. The roof was slipping off until finally at the end I got it to stick. Anyways Braxton had a blast and I was really surprised that he didn't try to eat the candy. He was so happy just to decorate. It was so much fun. I had the Christmas music going and it was a great memory. One that I hope to make a tradition.

We have also been outside trying to build a snowman, but the snow just wasn't working in our favor so we just stuck with a "Baby" snowman. Still made Braxton happy and it was a LOT easier. We love playing in the snow together and it looks like we will have plenty to work with. We have done so much fun things this winter season from putting our tree up, making hot coco, wrapping presents, and even dancing to Christmas music. Braxton is at just an awesome age and we have so much fun together. I know most people say terrible 3s, but man I love it. Don't get me wrong Braxton can be bad, but most of the time he is always making me smile. For example, Braxton is potty trained, but every once he waits to long and has an accident. Whenever this happens he always says REPEATEDLY, but Mommy it's only a little bit. For some reason my child thinks that if he goes in his pants he will turn into a baby and he doesn't want that at all. It is just so funny how he tells me over and over again that its just a little and hes a big boy.

Here is another great conversation my son had with his father the other night. Before Conrad leaves for the week I always ask him to go and have a conversation with Braxton about it. That way when he is gone Braxton understands why Daddy is away, but also that he loves him. I listened to the conversation Sunday night and I heard Conrad telling Braxton that while he is gone, Braxton is the man of the house and he has to take care of Mommy and be good. Braxton replied that he was going to take me to the doctor then. Conrad asked why and Braxton said to get rid of her huge zit. I just started cracking up. I cannot believe the things that kid comes up with.

This is seriously every day. He says something like this where you honestly just cannot stop laughing. Kids just say whatever they feel. It is hilarious.

Tonight Braxton and I are thinking about going to see some Christmas lights if the weather isn't bad. I know Braxton will love it so wish us luck.

Hope everyone is enjoying this December..Christmas is less than 3 weeks away...its flying by!:)

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas..

Isn't he so handsome! Braxton went on a Field Trip and he needed to be in his Sunday's Best:). He was a big hit on the field trip.

Yesterday we went on a Holy Walk together in Bremen. It was my Mom, my sister Carrie, Braxton, My nephew Aden, and myself. Aden & Braxton loved it and participated in everything. I couldn't believe how well both boys behaved because we had to wait 2 1/2 hours before we even went on the walk. The Church hosts this event every year, but they only do it one weekend so you end up waiting for a long time. We didn't get home till midnight and I had 2 very tired boys, but it was well worth it. It really put you back into the reason for the season. I encourage anyone to attend this if they can next year, you will not regret it.

This weekend really has been awesome with Braxton. We put up our tree, played in the snow, made breakfast together, and even wrapped presents. So relaxing and just what we all needed. Especially since this week I am going to be having some finals..booo! I am almost done with this semester though..woohoo!

God's Love..

So I have to share a story about Braxton tonight. First off Braxton told me this morning that he had to bring his Teddy Bear to school. I of course thought he was just trying to pull a fast on me so I asked him why? He simply replied that he was taking it to school because he wanted to wrap it to give it to baby Jesus. I thought it was the cutest thing ever and of course let him take it to school. Once I picked up Braxton from school we watched Rudolf the Red Nose Reindeer. It is my all time favorite Christmas movie. It was so fun and relaxing. I love moments like this with him. However, this one takes the cake. So today in class we were talking about noticing God's presence in everyday life..All I could think about was how much I see God when I look at my son. Braxton makes me so happy and he seriously completes me. He always puts me in my place and he makes me realize what life is all about. Anyways tonight we read a story from his children's bible and I was talking to him about ways he can show Jesus he loves him. We had a great conversation and then we went into prayer. At this time I told him a little bit about seeing God in all the things that make him happy. He starts telling me about all the things that make him happy. Then I tell him when I see God the most is when I look at him..Braxton just smiled the biggest smile and says because he is in my heart Mommy. I just couldn't believe that my 3 year old could see it like that. He is so amazing. I gave him the biggest hug and gave him the biggest kiss. Braxton will never know how much he means to me and just the fact that he is growing into this amazing little boy makes me so proud. He seriously says all the right things when he needs to say them and at that very moment I felt God's amazing love. I am so lucky and with Christmas season already upon us I cannot wait to see the new amazing things Braxton will learn about Jesus that I and others will teach him. Together we learn so much and I am just so grateful.

I can see the finish line

Well this semester is almost over. I have about 2 weeks left. Thank the good Lord for getting me through it because it has been CRAZY! I cannot believe how fast it has gone though, but seriously my classes were no joke and I have learned A LOT along the way. Since I have been out of school for so long I kind of forgot what it takes to do it. Now I know. My hardest class as you all know is Anatomy, but its also my favorite class. I know I am totally crazy right? But seriously it is. I have learned so much in this class. It doesn't mean I don't want it to be over with, but haha here is the thing I have to take it for an entire year, so I will be going at it again next semester. Booo! I am really excited for these 2 weeks to get over with because that means I get some great quality time with my family. My husband will be taking vacation for 10 Days and I am soo excited for it:)

Braxton is doing really well. The last couple days however he has been having what I think is growing pains. He has been complaining about his leg hurting him. I really hate this whole process, but he is improving everyday and making me so proud. School has been WONDERFUL for him and he enjoys playing with his friends so much. He talks about school all day long. I think it is also great for his leg because he is so busy, he doesn't have time to think about it and it gets him moving around.

This year Braxton is totally into Santa Clause and I am LOVING it. He has made a Christmas list this year already. His number one item is a Doggie pillow pet. Ok you all know you've seen that ANNOYING commercial --> It's a Pillow..It's a Pet..It's a PillowPet (In case you didn't just get that I was reacting the commercial for you). Anyways yeah my son wants want of those so bad. Other high things on his list are a kid's digital camera, a BIG helicopter, cars, trucks, and all that other fun boy stuff. He cracks me up with the pillow pet though and he tells everyone about it. I am really excited to do Christmas stuff with him this year, and we are starting it this weekend. My sister Carrie is coming into town and we are going to see the story of Jesus. It is almost like a play they put on that you walk around and go through that amazing night when Jesus was born. I went when I was younger and my Mom planned for us to go this year. I am SOOO excited and I hope we can make it a regular event. I am also excited to put the tree up, go see Santa, and make Christmas cookies. Such a fun time of the year.

Also for all you parents out there that want a good discipline tool well I have the secret. I tell Braxton I have Santa Clause on speed dial. So whenever he is acting bad I just let him know Santa doesn't bring presents to bad little boys so maybe I need to call him up. Braxton immediately straightens up. I am telling you works like a charm:).

Conrad has been a BUSY BUSY BUSY working man, but this weekend we were able to have some fun nights with our friends. It was so fun and we for sure needed it. We have some of the greatest friends in the world. Now we are back to living the dream and working our butts off:) haha.

Well that's all for now:) Hope everyone has a great December:)

So Thankful

Well Thanksgiving is right around the corner and we all have so much to be thankful for. Yesterday really reminded me of how fortunate we are and how we really should never take it for granted.

Yesterday I was reading a article in my parents magazine. Let me just tell you this article didn't just make me cry, it made me bawl. It was about an amazing family who in one minute had their life change drastically. The father was diagnosed with stage 4 melanoma and in 2 1/2 months was gone. Together they have 2 children, both around the ages of 4-6. The mother is absolutely amazing and the way she talked about her husband was beautiful. He was and still is the love of her life and she just made me realize that any day something can change. He went in for a routine checkup and in months was gone. She talked about seeing him again and until then just living every moment to the fullest and let her kids know they are loved with everything she has.

I am beyond blessed. I have God in my life who makes me stronger than I ever thought I could be and always listens to me, even when I have my crazy rants about nothing. I have a healthy 3 year old who completes me. I have an amazing husband who supports me and loves me unconditionally. I have a roof over my head and food on the table. I have parents & in-laws who are great role models and support me and love me. I have the opportunity to go to college and get an education to support myself and family. I have friends that are my family.

Seriously the list could go on and on. The point is sometimes I get so wrapped up in the bad that I forget all the WONDERFUL things going on in my life. This year I encourage all to really think about all the good going on in your life. I am well aware that life isn't perfect, but trust me it could always be worse. There are people out there that have nothing. They have no home, they have no family, they are fighting for their health. Some things that are so simple are so important that we take for granted.

Just like the mother in this article. She doesn't focus on her husband's death, she focuses on the future and the assurance that this isn't it. She will see him again. She managed to find the good in in, which is NEVER easy in bad times. I always believe God works in mysterious ways and he has a plan and we have to believe in it. There is a plan to the madness.

I just want to wish everyone an amazing Thanksgiving. And know that I am thankful for you!:)

Is this a sign?

Well Monday I came down with what I thought was a horrible cold. It kept getting worse and then Wednesday I woke up drenched in sweat and couldn't breath, which is never a good sign. Turns out I have a mild pneumonia. Seriously? It is one thing after another. So far this semester my son has broken his femur, I have had strep throat, my husband is traveling every week, and now I have a pneumonia. Can you understand my frustration?

I feel really low right now. Like maybe God is saying you really cannot do it all. I don't know whatever it is I need some good things to happen.

Thank God for my wonderful parents who have been helping me with Braxton because Conrad is out of town. They save me I swear. So I have been able to get some rest. Hoping I start feeling better soon.

All I can say is Jesus take the wheel because I need help:)

Snow??

I cannot believe it started snowing yesterday..and it is still on the ground this morning. We didn't get snow last year till December 17th (My dad informed me of this last night because he snow plows.). Anyways Braxton is loving this snow. I like it too, but I always feel like Fall goes by so fast. It is my favorite season and before you know it it is gone. Yesterday Braxton and I went to Target because I needed to pick up some things and I figured it was the perfect day to get a peppermint mocha since the snow had arrived. The lady did mine with an extra twist. She did half chocolate mocha and half white chocolate. I am not lying, that thing was heavenly! It is going to get me into a lot of trouble. Braxton insisted we go through the Christmas aisle. Man they don't even have Thanksgiving stuff, it is just straight XMas. I loved it though I cannot lie. Seeing all the pretty decoration and lights made me happy. We have already gotten like 4 toy magazine in the mail and Braxton is making his Christmas list. He is really getting into it this year, which is really fun for me. I just cannot wait for fun family activities and this year I want to take Braxton to the story of Jesus. I think he would really enjoy it and so would I.

Today Braxton and I plan on having a relaxing Saturday. I really have alot of school work to get done, but I don't know if today that is going to happen with Conrad being gone, but we will see.

I may have to venture out for another mocha..see what I am talking about..I already want another one. I thought pumpkin spice got me in trouble. Dang you Starbucks taking my money!

Update

So first off..I have to show this picture. These are my 3 year olds abs. Like are you kidding me? What 3 year old has abs like this. It has to be from carrying that heavy cast for 4 weeks and the fact that he is already a skinny boy. I don't know what it is all I do know is I am jealous.

Anyways took Braxton to the surgeon today. Braxton's right leg is about 1 cm shorter than his left, which is actually good since the bone will grow while it is healing. We aren't doing physical therapy because the doctor doesn't feel it is needed. Braxton is doing awesome. He is walking with a limp, but improving every day. I am very proud of him. This will be a long healing process and I just pray it wont have any long term issues.

I have been soo busy lately I feel like I cannot keep my head straight. We are getting close to the end of the semester and I feel like I am trying to stay in motivating mode, but it is getting difficult. I am doing well in all my classes and signed up for my next semester classes. Unfortunately I cannot say I am too excited for them because I have Anatomy & Physiology at 7AM. For all those that don't know this..I am not a morning person. I so badly want to be, but I cannot even function properly that early so I am already starting to pray for God's guidance with this one:). Hopefully it will go ok.

Well thats all I have time for now..have to study:)

Happy Halloween

We had a great day for Halloween yesterday. Braxton dressed up as a shark and had so much fun. He still isn't walking too much so we pulled him in a wagon. Made it a little difficult getting in and out of it at every house, but we did it. He had a blast and got a lot of candy. We went with the Walshs in their neighborhood. Braxton got to play with his buddy Peyton. They play really great together and Braxton just loves his buddy. Walshs are my second family so it is always great spending time with them.

Today we are up and getting ready for school. Mondays are my longs days at school so I cannot say I am looking forward to it, but Braxton of course is looking forward to seeing his friends.

Off we go. Hope everyone has a GREAT day!

NO MORE CAST BABY!

This last Thursday Braxton and I went in for another follow-up appointment. Let me just tell you the week before this appointment Braxton decided he was done with this cast. He started peeing and pooping in it. It was horrible!! That cast smelled horrible and I seriously tried everything, including Lysol all over it. As I was carrying him in the doctor's office all I could think was this doctor has to do something because I am a NEAT freak and I cannot take it anymore. Seriously people when I get home from working at the hospital I HAVE to shower before Braxton can even touch me, I take hand sanitizer everywhere including next to my bed, and I wash my hands constantly. I may have an issue, but that is besides the point. I am clean and I could no longer stand that my own child smelled like this. It was out of my control. Well anyways we get in and I explain this to the nurse and she was like oh I know these casts are such a pain blah blah blah. But my amazing doctor walks in and says no worries lets just get rid of it. I wasn't expecting that at all. 4 Week and 2 days, man my son is a champ! I didn't think he would get it off till atleast 5, but sister is not complaining. The worst part was the loud cast cuter. It took a while for Braxton to get use to it, but I just explained it was like Handy Manny's power tool and then it was cool. It took a while to get the cast off and when it did come off I wasn't expecting Braxton's reaction. He was bawling, the same way he did when he broke the dang thing. He actually cried to have him put it back on. Seriously broke my heart right there. Once we got home we took it easy. Braxton is really sore, but by the end of the evening he was sitting up. Everyday is a new improvement. He hasn't started walking on his own yet, but does take steps. He has gotten a couple baths which has been wonderful!!! He smells so wonderful again and I will never take baths for granted. My favorite thing is just holding him again and feeling his little legs wrapped around my waist. Man its the little things. You honestly don't know how much you miss something until its gone. I am just so proud of my Braxton. He is amazing and he makes me so proud. I love him more than he will ever know, but I would appreciate it is this is the last broken bone:)

I also just want to personally thank everyone for everything they did for us. For your prayers, your cards, your gifts, your time. It all means sooo much. We have such an amazing support system and we wouldn't have made it through this without you all!

THANKS!

I never knew I could love someone this much...

This Monday marks my 2nd Year of Marriage to the man of my dreams. Also on Monday we will officially have been together 7 years. Crazy right? I am 24 years old and I have already spent 7 years of my life with the man that completes me.

I still remember those high school days. To be honest the first time I met Conrad I wasn't too happy with him. See my good friend Jenn talked me into going tanning, even though my Momma told me not to. Well it was bad enough that I went, but worse that I decided to go the whole time because I knew nothing about tanning beds and I have always had skin that tanned easily so in my head I thought no big deal right? Haha you all know that was wrong, I was as bright as an apple and it hurt like no body's business. I know you are wondering where is she going with this story. Well I had school and I begged my mom to let me stay home, but she said absolutely not that's your punishment. It was horrifying. I tried all day to keep my head down and have no one notice me. Yeah everyone noticed. Well at lunch I sat with my friends and this boy keeps staring at me I finally look over at him and he goes, "Whats up Rudolf?" Yeah that man was my now husband. I remember leaving the cafeteria that day saying that Conrad Bontrager is the biggest jerk ever.

Well shortly after that Conrad and I became friends through a mutual friend, who is one of our best friends still, Joel Bennett. Conrad was a football player and I was a softball player so we saw each other a lot in the weight room at Penn. Conrad decided to use this to his advantage and we started playing each other in basketball. I usually won these games. Conrad will tell you he let me win, but don't believe him this girl has skills:). Anyways one thing lead to another and Conrad and I became inseprable. We were friends from the very beginning and we had the best time together. I will never forget the night Conrad asked me to be his girlfriend. It was October 25th, 2003 & we have been together ever since.

Conrad and I have went through some of the hardest times in our lives together and some of the best times. Through it all we have made it. Conrad is my very best friend and he knows me inside and out. He helps me through everything and he believes in me when I don't even believe in myself. Marriage isn't easy it honestly wasn't meant to be. It takes work and drive, but oh my word is it worth it. We made a commitment to each other because this is where we want to be forever. I promise to never give up and he promises the same.

To my husband I could never tell you enough how much I love you. Thanks for never leaving my side. You are the reason I do everything I do. Thanks for always believing in me and making me smile every day. Thank you for giving me an amazing son. You are truly the love of my life and I cannot wait to see what God has in store for us in the future.

Hey Husband Goodbye Husband

Seriously this is how I feel right now. With my husband being in audit he is traveling all the time. For example he left for California Monday and is returning tonight around 11:00pm. Then leaves again Monday for another week. This happens very often and it becomes really difficult for a full-time student and full-time mother to accomplish it all and still feel sane. I really am doing the best I can. It is just really hard, not to mention I just got wonderfully sick over the last few day. Through it all I actually am proud of myself for how well I am doing in school with everything going on. Part of that is truly because of the wonderful support system I have. Just an example, Monday night my mother took complete care of Brax while I studied. She seriously spoiled me rotten because she was also so concerned about me. I know understand why because I have my own child, my mom still sees me as her little girl. She paves the way for my success. She wants it just as much as I do. My parents are amazing people and I would be lost without them. I am so grateful for them for their help as Conrad and I are accomplishing our goals.

With all going on I will say though we have been enjoying ourselves in the open areas. With Conrad gone a lot we really take advantage of our time together. Last weekend we went to Conrad's rugby game, but other than that we were at home. I did homework a lot, but we just took it easy. It is really nice.

Even tonight Braxton and I just sat outside and watched the stars and talked. It is amazing what Braxton has to say these days. We had so much fun and I must have told him a hundred times how much I love times like this with him. We have some amazing conversations about anything and everything. He is becoming such a big boy. He has an answer to everything and always finds a way to make me smile.

Well that's all for now. Next Thursday Brax has his check up with the surgeon. Lets hope that cast is coming off, because we are all so over that thing:)

Perfection!

You wouldn't even know this kid has a broken femur by these pictures taken by my wonderful friend Jenn at Braxton's school. I am soo blessed for all those amazing ladies there and how they treat Braxton..but seriously look at these smiles. He is crawling and making sure he doesn't miss out on the fun. Nothing will stop this boy, he is always so happy! These pictures just put me in a good mood. I could stare at them all day:)

Braxton's Recovery..

Braxton has been doing awesome and I am so proud of him. Today we went for our followup appointment and I was a nervous nelly (that's a word right). Anyways the doctor looked at the X-Ray and informed us the bone has not moved! WONDERFUL! It also is showing that it is starting to heal. I am soo happy! Braxton should be losing the cast in about 3 weeks. I cannot wait. I think we all hate that cast, but let me just inform you on some funnies that we have had with it. First of all I get out of breath carrying Braxton up the stairs to his bedroom. That cast is so heavy. The other night I took him up and he wanted to sing our prayer, I was gasping for breath trying to sing. My son just looked at me like I was crazy, but seriously that cast gives me a workout. Also it's getting colder out so we had to find pants that fit over the cast. I ended up buying size boys 8-10 pants. Seriously they are huge, but they work. Here is the issue with them though, every time we have to put Braxton in the car we have to pull the pants down because you cannot buckle him because of the bar in his cast. Therefore, you are in the parking lot pulling your child's pants down and 9 times out of 10 his diaper will fall off exposing our poor child's private areas to anyone who cares to see. He seriously always yells at me, "Mommy my diaper, my butt is showing." I always laugh, but then I am also dying just to keep the kid in my arms because like I said I am carrying a lot of extra weight. One positive thing about this cast is Braxton has fully become potty trained even through this monster of a cast. He poops on the toliet still (which is truly an entertaining experience if you ever witness it, but for the sake of my child's privacy I will keep it to myself) and pees in a urinal. It is so funny in the middle of the night when he has to pee I can hear him yell Mommy grab the urinal, it isn't even I have to pee. He is a pro I am telling you. I don't enjoy it though and I cannot wait to we go back to just using the ordinary toilet. Lastly, whenever we go out to eat or to a friends house, we have to bring pillows. Your normal booster chair or high chair just doesn't cut it. We went to Applebees the other night and I am carrying my body pillow likes its normal and the hostess goes um are you guys sleeping over tonight? Hilarious right? I really wanted to say No jerk my son's leg is broken have some sympathy, but I just smiled and laughed.

I really cannot believe how much our routine has changed because of this stupid cast and when the day comes when its gone I am seriously having a party and every one is welcome to come! I hate that cast more than anything and I hate that it is on my favorite little boy. I have to say though it takes more than that cast to stop my child. Yesterday he started crawling. I couldn't even believe how awesome he does it. He is going to have some serious arm muscles when this is said and done. He just amazes me at how he wont quit. If he wants it he is going to do it. Makes me so proud.

Since Braxton isn't quitting neither am I. The week I missed at school seriously killed me as far as catching up, not to mention I was completely sleep deprived. I have been busting my butt and I am starting to feel so much better. Thank God for not giving up on me.

Our Life may be crazy, but we stick together through it and that's what I love about my family. We keep fighting. I love my boys more than anything and without them I don't know what I would do.

Not the news I wanted..

Well last Friday I took Braxton in for his follow up appointment. Braxton kept crying that he didn't want to go in and he didn't want anymore surgery. I explained to him repeatedly that we were just getting an xray. Well we went in and did the xray and the first thing I thought of when I saw the picture was that doesn't look good at all. The doctor said it actually looks worse on film, but the bone was just in range. Unfortunately, if it moves anymore we will be going through this all over again, meaning more surgery which I promised Braxton we wouldn't be doing. It totally killed me and ruined my entire day. The doctor told me he really doesn't think the bone will move anymore because Braxton's pain is so decreased. I can only hope because I don't want us to go through this again. This Thursday is when we will have the next xray, so we are praying for no movement. Please keep us in your prayers and we will keep you posted!

"I know but a lot of kids sit and dance to be like brax! He's such a happy boy it could take a lot more than a broken leg to hold him back."

My wonderful bestfriend Jenn sent me this text message today. She sent this message after she had sent me a video of Braxton dancing with his friend at school, while sitting in a chair. The video made me smile, but made me so sad too. I hate the fact that my little boy is sitting in a chair and not being able to run around with his friends. I explained this to Jenn and that is the quote she sent back to me. I seriously haven't stopped thinking about it all day.

Braxton is an amazing little boy. A boy so wonderful other kids want to be like him. He is sweet and caring. He is a friend to everybody and he loves everybody. He constantly talks about his wonderful friends and how much they mean to him. Whenever I walk into school the kids run to Braxton. They look up to him and they think he is just as amazing as I do. It's amazing to see your child thrive and grow. It is something that makes parenthood absolutely wonderful because you are part of it. I couldn't be prouder of the son we are raising. Parenthood is the hardest job in the world, but honestly it is the more rewarding job as well.

Now on to the nothing can bring him down part. Jenn totally made me think. Seriously in the beginning of Braxton's injury he never quit. He had his moments of pain, but the second he wanted to do something he did it. He isn't throwing a pity party for himself, he just deals with it. It doesn't slow him down or make him a different person. He is still the sweetest and happiest little boy. How many times in my life have I just been sad or upset and I let it control me? My three year old doesn't even do that. I have serious stress in my life, but I let it get me down and keep me down. Today made me realize I need to be like my 3 year old. Who knew he could teach me so much!

Seriously though everyday I may teach Braxton something, but he truly shows me what life is all about. With him life makes sense. Man am I lucky or what?

Lastly Braxton has his follow up appointment tomorrow. I am nervous and excited. We are hoping for good news so please keep the prayers coming. We will let you know the news soon:)

Just keep swimming..Just keep swimming - Find Nemo

As you can see from the title, our family is stressed and all we can do is push forward. After missing most of last week because of Braxton's surgery I have been playing catch up. Monday I was at school from 10 till 9 at night non stop. It's been crazy and to top it off my wonderful husband has been gone on business. I am just trying to put one foot in front of the other because really that is all I can do.

On a positive note my little boy is improving each day. He has been sleeping SO MUCH better and hasn't had a ton of pain. My wonderful daycare took him back Monday. Seriously they are the best. He is so happy to be back at school with his friends and it gives me time to get back into school. I swear the girls at Braxton's daycare are amazing and I get teary eyed just thinking about how blessed I am to have their support. They love Braxton so much and it shows. I could never explain to them how grateful I am for them. I couldn't ask for a better place.

We go to the doctor Friday for our follow up so I will have more information about the plan for Braxton. I am hoping for good news. Keep the prayers coming for little man. He is such a trooper and I couldn't be more proud!

Day 2

Well last night didn't go as well as I would have hoped. Yesterday evening Braxton went through a rough part where when he was trying to sleep he had muscle spasms. It was awful. He had all his medicine, and basically I felt helpless because there wasn't anything I could do. Conrad and I tried repositioning him, but nothing helped. I just held on to his hand. This lasted for what seemed like forever. Then at bedtime it happened again. This time the muscle spams were coming seriously every 30 seconds. My poor boy grabbed on to me with the tightest grip just screaming. I had had enough. I ended up calling the surgeon, who told me to try benadryl. That took the edge off for a little bit, but an hour later we were at it again. We made it through the night, but we are both exhausted. I called the doctor this morning so I should be getting a call to see what the next plan is. Hopefully we can find a way to ease my boys pain, because I cannot handle watching it. It seriously breaks my heart.

We are hoping today will be a better day. I told Braxton his cousin Brenna and Aunt Jenn were stopping by this morning and that made him excited. I am hoping visitors will make him happy because sitting around all day is hard on him.

We will keep you posted. Thanks again for your prayers:)

"When he decided to break something..he really wanted to go all out."

Well I think you all know that our family has had a pretty eventful couple of days.

On Monday night, Braxton and I went to my parent's house for dinner since my husband was out of town for work for a couple days. We were relaxing and Braxton was playing with some toys. He loves this wooden train that I used to play with as a kid. Anyways he left it in front of the t.v. We aren't sure exactly how it happened, even though we were all in the room, but Braxton was running and it looked like he stepped on the train and since it has wheels it moved, making him fall backwards. He feel extremely awkward, his leg was basically behind him. When I went and picked him up he immediately grabbed his thigh and was screaming for ice. I sat on a chair with him and every time we moved, he screamed in pain. My Dad said from the very beginning he needed to go to the ER. He kept having these muscle spasms and I knew something was not right.

When we got to ER at 9 o'clock p.m., they moved us pretty fast to x-ray. The nurse told me from the beginning if it is broken we will get you to a room right away. We went to x-ray, which I have to say was HORRIBLE. Moving him around broke my heart, because he was shivering, screaming, and sweating from the pain. Right after the x-ray we moved to the room and the tech said it was broken. My heart broke immediately. Once we got into the room there were two nurses there who started an iv. Everyone was working, but no one was telling me what was going on. At first they said he was going to surgery in an hour, I was freaking out. Here I was without my husband dealing with all this. They ended up moving surgery back to 6 am which was good because it gave me time to get things together. Once Conrad got the call that Braxton was having surgery he knew he had to be there. His job allowed him to come home. THANK GOD for them, because without Conrad there I don't know how I could have done it. I am so grateful for that.

Since he wasn't going to surgery right away they decided to splint his leg. At this point I was told that it was a Greenstick fracture. They gave him some sedation and placed the splint on. This was to help keep his leg in position. Conrad arrived around midnight and we were up to our peds room at 1:00. Braxton and I didn't sleep much at all. About every 20 mins he had muscle spasms that just made him scream in pain. It was horrible. They made sure to give him morphine, but it was still a lot to deal with. I slept maybe 15 minutes, my mind couldn't get over the fact that my child was going to be in surgery. I was so scared.

That morning we took him down and the surgeon explained everything and said the procedure would take 45mins-1 hour. At this point we were told that Braxton had a spiral fracture. Seriously you have to see the pictures to believe it, this kid totally broke his femur. It is actually impressive. The surgeon said a prayer and Conrad and I were bawling. When I let go of his hand, my heart dropped. We sat in the waiting room for an hour and a half. I was freaking out and beyond anxious at why it was taking so long.

Finally they come out and said he did well, but he had some respiratory issues and actually had to be intubated during surgery. Um hello, can you scream scary? Anyways it wasn't for long, but with him having asthma and a cold, he just needed some extra help. We got to see him in recovery and just looking at the cast made me teary eyed. I hate it now and I know I will hate it forever, especially since he will be wearing it for 4-6 weeks. He looked so helpless laying in that bed. He had oxygen on and was so sleepy. It took a lot to get him to wake up, but with not sleeping at all the night before and anesthesia I expected that.

When we got him back up to his room, he started having some pain issues. It took a while to get his pain under control, and I really think he just didn't want to be there. It is horrible to watch your child go through pain like that. I felt miserable for him. I think as a parent you just wish you could switch places. I wanted me to be going through this, not him. When we finally got discharged Braxton changed. He just felt more like himself, which he hadn't been through this whole thing. I have to say though that through this whole process Braxton made me so proud. Even through all the pain he was a perfect little boy. Even the nurses made comments about how sweet he was, even through all his pain. He is so amazing and we are just so lucky!

He did very well on the ride home and we had a successful first night at home. We moved Daddy out into a different room and Braxton and I sleep in my bed. I put a side rail up and made sure he had plenty of pillows. We woke up ever couple of hours, but seriously he did awesome.

This morning Braxton is doing well. He is watching cartoons and I am going to give him a sponge bath. We are hoping we find a good routine for him.

We cannot thank you all enough for all your concerns and prayers. It makes this process a little easier knowing we have so much support. You really have no idea.

We will keep you all updated and we are always open to visitors so PLEASE feel free to drop by. I know Braxton will love to see the people he loves!:)

Busy Busy Busy Bees

Do you ever get so busy, you are always worrying about what you have to do next? Seriously that is me right now. I feel like there is never enough time in the day, especially for my studies. Well last night I also remembered I really have to relax and enjoy my life, because everthing is going so fast. My poor peanut was sick last night, hacking his little lungs out I swear, and the only way I could get him to relax was by letting him lay on me in the rocking chair. In the beginning all I could think was the long list of things I had to do. Then all the sudden I looked at my son and realized that I never use the rocker anymore because he is so big, and we usually don't have to rock him to sleep anymore. I was looking at him and realized how big he has gotten. His legs hang over the edge of the rocker and it took a lot to get him comfortable because of his bigger body. Then I got mad at myself for not enjoying this time. I mean when he is 10 you think he will still want his momma rocking him and rubbing his back? Probably not. I can barley believe he is 3, and to think someday he will be 18 makes me want to cry. It goes so fast. My baby is now a boy. Gotta remember to just sit and enjoy my time with my boy.


Also I have to share a funny story from today, we were sitting in our room and Braxton looked at me said lets be friends momma I love you. It made me so happy and I told him of course and I loved him too. Then he started sniffing me. I looked at him like what are you doing..and he goes Mom you smell gross. Where do kids learn this stuff? He is always making me laugh with what he comes up with.

Last but not least as you all know my hubby is a BUSY working man:) I am so proud, but also VERY nervous because he is traveling a lot. Makes it a tad difficult when you are in school and being a Moma. We will work it out and I have faith we will make it:). But I will always take any prayers people want to give us as we make this adjustment!!!

Thats all for now...Hope everyone is enjoying this BEAUTIFUL Fall Weather. We love it!

Ps I am sure all of you are aware..but the best day of the year is in 9 days..MY BIRTHDAY..Its a pretty big deal!!

WE ARE SO PROUD OF YOU CONRAD!

Today is Conrad's FIRST Officially day of work at Crowe!! We are soo proud of him! He was looking so handsome this morning in his new work clothes. I have to say I am not used to seeing him dressed up, but I like it:).

This morning Braxton and I are both sleepy. My brain is exhausted from all the studying I did yesterday, and my poor Braxton has come down with some sort of virus. Poor guy was up at 2am throwing up. Ahh there is nothing worse then a sick baby. So today while I am off to school all day my wonderful mother in law is going to stay with my boy. Thank god for wonderful Grandparents. I don't know what I would do without them.

Well off we go...Hope you all have a GREAT Monday!

Our Favorite Season....

It is starting to look like Fall people and I am soo excited. Fall is my favortie season for so many reasons. I love the weather, the changes in colors, and mostly FOOTBALL SEASON!! Yes I am a big football fan. Notre Dame and the Colts! I honestly don't know anything else. My husband, unfortunately, is a Michigan Fan. You can see where that could be a problem when raising a boy. However, don't you fret because Momma is taking care of business. My son is a momma's boy right now, and I am going to take FULL advantage of it. Just ask him who his favorite team is between the two and you will find a PERFECT answer because Notre Dame is Mommy's team!! As you can see from the picture below I am raising him well:)

Braxton has been loving Pre-School and I am SO proud of how well he is adjusting. He adores his friends and his teachers. He is learning so much and we can already tell the differences. I truly have been enjoying being the one to pick him up from school since Conrad and I have changed roles. It has been a big blessing to me. When Braxton gets home from school we have been loving going for bike rides or running in the jogger. I cannot lie I thought it would be easy to get back on a bike, but I am horrible. Don't worry people Braxton wears a helmet. Anyways we have been loving time together, especially Mommy. Since I am in school and don't have the time I use to I REALLY try to make our time together special and meaningful. That boy means so much to me. Never thought I could love someone so much.

I am starting to adjust to school, but I will be perfectly honest when telling you I had my first breakdown. Yes I am aware I have been in school barley a week, but it happened. I had my first lab for my Anatomy and Physiology class. Lets just say I went home in tears because I was so frustrated. Not to mention I broke a beaker in class. I got over it though, and I take it as a blessing because I have been out of school for over 4 years, kind of need to give myself a break and realize to be a little easier on myself. Lets just say I am a perfectionist and I don't like being wrong even a little bit. Ok I am stubborn you got me. I am loving school though and I find it all so interesting. I am blessed to be at Bethel.

Conrad has been enjoying his last week before work. He has had the opportunity to Golf and help me get adjusted to school, which is wonderful. I am so lucky to have him. Truly has my back and pushes me when I want to give up.

Alright I am off to do more studying..don't get too excited for me:)

It is written on your heart...

I was in class today and got so inspired by this video, I knew I had to share it. I am in a class called Exploring the Christian Faith at Bethel College, and although I have only had 3 classes so far I am so in love with it. I am a work in progress, someone who is trying to find their way in this crazy world. I have been praying to God to help guide me, and he placed me right in this class. It is my blessing and one I plan to take full advanatge of.

My favorite thing from this video is when he says, "The song is playing around us all the time, it's everywhere, it is written on our hearts and everybody is playing. The question isn't whether or not your playing the song, it's if your in tune." Doesn't matter how much you say you love Christ or have faith, it's how you live it everyday. God's wisdom is too beautiful to be thrown away for nothing. God is what we are made for. We weren't made for anything else.

I hope you enjoy this video as much as I do.

New Journey

On Thursday night my amazing friends and husband had a little get together for me. It was the night before my first day of classes. My friends brought over funny school supplies. A couple of them were a Hannah Montana notebook, Princess folders, and a microphone pen. Ahh they love me don't they? My husband got me a new computer, he is soo wonderful!! I have to thank my wonderful friends for coming over and making me not so nervous for my first day. Thanks Will, Joel, Carl, Emily, Braxton, and of course Conrad.

So Friday I started my first day at Bethel College. I was so nervous that morning, and I couldn't figure out why. I believe it was because I had been out of school for some time, and I just felt like I was going to be so far behind right from the get go. I had the exact same feeling I had the first day of high school. All the new faces, teachers, and subjects. Ahh I was scared. Anyways my first class of the day was exploring the christian faith. I didn't even know what to expect with this class, but for a long time I have been praying to God to help me get closer to him. This class is exactly what I have been praying for. The rest of the day was great and I feel like this is exactly where I am suppose to be. I think this is going to be a great semester, d0n't get me wrong it is going to be a lot of work, but I am actually excited for it.

Since Friday was my first day at school, it was also Braxton's first day at school. The day started rough with Braxton refusing to go to school. He latched on to me and I thought there was no way we were going to get out of the car. Once we got inside he saw all of his friends and it was much easier to leave my side. Thank God for Aunt Jenn being there, she helped me by just taking him away because I would have stayed forever. Braxton had a rough first day with going on the potty. I think it was a different place than home and doing so much occupied him he didn't think or want to stop to go potty. All in all, Ann told me he was her star student for the day so I am happpy!! I am hoping this new routine will be good for Braxton and he will learn a lot from pre-school. Mommy and Daddy will be missing him a lot while he is there.

Conrad starts his new job in two weeks and he is getting really excited. It is nice to see him so determined and excited to go to work. He has already passed his first section of his CPA exam. I am so proud of him I cannot help but smile. He has accomplished so much and I know he is going to do great things.

This is our new journey and I know our family is going to bloom because of it. Excited for what God has in store for all of us.

What are you thankful for?

In our household, we love to pray. We really have worked hard at giving Braxton the opportunity to speak and talk to God, and most importantly remind him that he is always there for anything. At night we have been reading a lot about God and Braxton of course has a lot of questions. Well tonight we did our normal routine. We read two stories, sang our prayer song (the same song my mom sang to me when I was a child), and lastly I opened the floor to Braxton to pray about anything he wanted to. This is what my son said; God thank you for food, for sandwiches, for peanut butter sandwiches, and crunchy peanut butter. I was laughing so hard, I was crying. It is amazing to hear the things this little boy has to say. Just a moment I hope to remember and I am sure God was glad to hear it too.

Braxton & Mommy

Time for Change

Braxton at the lake on the Tug Boat

Going for a run with our jogging stroller

Ky enjoying the stroller too

Our family has had an awesome summer. We have spent so much time at the lake and just really enjoyed swimming and being outside. A new favorite thing for me is Braxton and I take a run together with my jogging stroller. I love working out and sometimes it just isn't possible because I don't have someone to watch Braxton. Finally I just started realizing I can do things with Braxton now. I love running so now we just do it together. We love running around and seeing stuff around the neighborhood. It has been a great thing for us to share together. He also motivates me and tells me to keep going. He is my little coach. It has been an awesome summer, but our routine is very much about to change because next week is my first week of school and Braxton is going to be going back to his school. He is very excited, but I have to say I am very nervous. I know everything will be fine and our family will adjust to the changes. It's all for the best and I know God will guide us through it all. Conrad is also about to start his new job. He is getting so excited, and we are all excited for him. I know he will do great. We will keep you updated on all the excitement!!

Potty Training

Well the light switch turned on for Braxton and he is rocking potty training right now. All the sudden he just told us he needed to go and he did. It is awesome. My sister was totally right on this one, just wait till they are ready and they will do it. My favortie part of the whole thing is how excited Braxton gets when he goes to the bathroom. He is just so proud. His favorite part has to be the reward of chocolate. I have to say that potty training was stressful in the beginning, but we have had some hilarious times with it as well. Coming from a woman raising a boy I never even thought to teach Braxton to point his pee pee down when he is sitting on the potty. Well lets just say I got sprayed once and now I a pro at reminding him. Also we love how Braxton just touches his toes when he is done pooping for us to wipe him. Where do kids learn this stuff? My all time fav is when Braxton looks at me and says, "Mommy I need to drop a deuce." Thanks to all daddy's wonderful friends for teaching him all these wonderful new sayings. All I have left to says is man I love the fact that we don't have to buy diapers. Just think every month I spend at least 25 bucks on diapers. Hello that a lot of money. Now its staying in my pocket! Woohoo!!

We are so proud of our little boy!!!

The Kissing Hand

Braxton loves to read. We have an amazing night time routine where we climb into bed and read. It's a great moment where we can relax and cuddle up together. I adore that Braxton enjoys reading just as much as I do. One day we stopped at Barnes and Noble and read books for an hour. Braxton just thought it was so cool that there were so many books he could choose from. He of course picked out a ton that were about dogs, I wouldn't expect anything less. Anyways I picked out a book called The Kissing Hand and totally feel in love. The book talks about a baby raccoon going to school and how he is so scared, but his mother teaches him a secret that allows him to feel his mother's love wherever he goes. It is just perfect. I always feel sad whenever I leave for work or something because I miss my baby so much, this book allows us to have something to bring us together when we are away from each other. I suggest this book to any parent. It's something I share with my little buddy and I adore it.

Happy 3rd Birthday Braxton!

Braxton's 3rd Birthday Party was wonderful!! I know I always throw Braxton a birthday party every year so far, but I never want to forget how important that day was to Conrad and I when our healthy baby boy was born. I love the fact that each year people come to celebrate another great year with our amazing little boy! For us we wouldn't mind if no one brought presents, we really just feel blessed to have SOO many amazing people in our little boys life and that they take time out to celebrate that day with us. This year was perfect and it was a great time with many new memories.

Some of my favorties were with Braxton and "his girlfriend" Cecilia Heeter. She is truly Braxton's best friend and her parents are amazing friends to Conrad and I. We just adore their family and look up to them in a lot of ways. Anyways Cecilia was asked by Braxton's Great Grandfather Warren if she was Braxton's cousin. She simply looked at him and said, "No I am his girlfriend." If that isn't the cutest thing ever, I don't know what else is. Also after Braxton opened up Cece's present, which was a bunch of toy story stuff that included big boy underwear and a potty book, she started giving him a huge speech about how he needed to start going on the potty and not in his diapers. It was hysterical and I appreciated it coming from her. To be honest, I think she got to him a little bit because he has been wanting to sit on it so I will take it. They are just so cute together and I love the relationship they have. It's totally normal that I want to pre-arrange their marriage right?

Another favorite thing about the party was I adore the close friends we have. At Braxton's party I stopped and just looked at all my amazing friends and smiled the biggest smile. You all have welcomed our baby boy into your lives and he has an amazing relationship with you all. Seriously we couldn't have asked God for better friends. You all have stuck close to use through the hard times and the good times. We just hope you know how much we love you and appreciate you! WE WOULD BE LOST WITHOUT YOU!

Lastly I enjoyed playing cornhole all afternoon. Seriously the party was still rocking till like 8 when it started at 1. I especially enjoyed beating Uncle Will and Uncle Joel more than once. Sorry you know I am so competitive I have to brag:).

Overall, the party was great and we are just so happy. Braxton is growing up and every year we look forward to celebrating our beautiful gift that God gave us.

Braxton's Toy Story Cake (He did awesome blowing out the candles)

Braxton's huge dog from Uncle Joel & Uncle Will (Which he wants to sleep in bed with him every night, and it pretty much takes up his whole bed)

Opening presents with Cece's help

The day my life changed...

On July 17th 2007 my life completely changed. I will never forget that day. It was 7 o'clock in the morning, and I rolled over to tell my husband it was time to get ready for work and all the sudden my water broke. Everyone knows I am not a morning person so maybe that was why I wasn't nervous, I was just still asleep. Or maybe it was the fact that I had so many false alarms in past that I just wasn't sure if it was all real. See I had a time in the past where I thought my water broke and it really didn't, yes Braxton was a jokster. Anyways Conrad asked me what I wanted him to do, go into work till I thought it was time or just stay with me. I wasn't sure, I figured I didn't want to rush till the hospital till my contractions were close enough so I told him to wait till I knew. Well 15 minutes later I had my first contraction. Lets just say it was painful enough that I informed Conrad he wasn't going anywhere. After that it only got worse and of course my lovely husband didn't have his bag packed or the car seat in the car so while he did those things I tried to relax. However, my contractions made that impossible. After trying as hard as I could to relax I lost it. I was in horrible pain that was coming too often for my liking. I will never forget the ride to the hospital, although I would like to. That day was a hot muggy day and we had construction everywhere. It took us FOREVER to get to the hospital. I yelled at my husband the entire way, had the A/C on full blast, and was all over the place. It was awful. My favorite part of this story was when we got to the parking garage and people were walking slowly in front of our car, I rolled down my window yelling get out of the way I am in labor and honking the horn. I think at this time my husband was wishing he wasn't with me. On top of that when we got out of the car my contractions were a minute apart and I could no longer walk or stand for that matter. I looked at Conrad and said you are going to have to carry me in there. His face was priceless, lets just say this momma was a biggg momma and Conrad wanted to laugh, but had to act like he would try because he knew at this point I might kill him. Luckily he found a wheel chair and he ran me inside. Once getting into triage and by this time crying with every contraction, the nurses finally got in and I kind of had to believe they didn't believe I was as far as I thought I was. At this point my body was telling me to push. Finally they checked me and I will never forget the nurses face as she said Oh my your 9 cm already we need to get you to a birthing room. The nurses there rocked even though I was a little crazy trying as best as I could to deal with the pain. In my birthing plan I always said I would go as far as I could without pain meds, but by this point I would have given away anything to get some. The nurses thought I was too far to get anything, but luckily my WONDERFUL doctor said I could have an epidural. I am telling you once that baby was in it was like heaven. I enjoyed the rest of my birthing experience and it was an amazing moment I shared with my husband. Both of us in tears as our son was finally arriving into the world. My favorite part was when Braxton's shoulders were out Conrad and I pulled Braxton out together and laid him on my chest. Our doctor truly believed in letting the newborn baby lay on the mothers chest when they are born for at least an hour. It was the BEST experience on my life. I remember just being in awe, that he was finally here!! I remember Conrad being so jealous that I had Braxton on me for that long because he was just itching to hold his son. After everything was said and done, I didn't care what pain I had been in because it was completely worth it. The love of my life was in my arms and I was the happiest I had ever been in my life. Conrad and I just sat there together so in love with our baby boy.

Now I look at my son, who is about to be 3 on Saturday and it just amazes me how far we have come. He has now grown into this little boy with so much personality. He is beyond sweet and makes me smile all day long. Braxton is our world and we feel so blessed that God gave us this gift. I love you Warren Braxton Bontrager!!!

The Joys Of Parenthood

I think many of you know I have been trying to potty train my child for a long time now. I remember when Braxton turned two telling Conrad why don't we try to start potty training Braxton. I read the books and I felt like Braxton was showing signs so why not. Atleast get him started and see where we go. Well my son was doing great. He had peed a couple times in the potty and even pooped. I was thinking I was super Mom. Then all the sudden he started getting not interested. He didn't want to take the time to sit on the potty when he knew his Mom would just change his wet pants. It was like this kid was totally taking advantage of me, and I knew it because the kid would be pooping and look at me and say, "Mommy I am pooping so I am going to need you to change me soon." I couldn't help but smile and think you turd you know exactly what you are doing. Even being discouraged I still pushed forward with potty training. One day I took Braxton on a special trip to our favorite store, Super Target of course. I went down the big boy underwear aisle and made a huge scene about how cool big boy pants were. I mean seriously parents walking by me were laughing at me, they had to have thought I was crazy, but I didn't care. My son looked me right in the face and said, "Mommy I like peeing in my diaper." I was shocked and for the first time in my life I had nothing to say. I left the aisle and went straight to the diapers, in disappointment I cringed and grabbed a pack. Finally I said I was done. I was done pushing the issue, and I knew when Braxton was ready he would do it. I have given him all the tools and I know he will accomplish it. Now Braxton will be three in July, so try and remember we have been on this journey for almost a year. Well this weekend we were at our favorite place in the world, my parents lake. Braxton is a little fish and he seriously will live in the water if I let him. Anyway from the very beginning I told Braxton he had no diaper on so if he has to go he better tell me because he doesn't want to go in his new bathing suit. Then all the sudden I look over at my child who has his pants down, grabbing his butt apart in a squat, grunting, and taking an enormous poop on the beach. My family was sitting on the deck laughing hysterically. I think everyone was waiting for me to go yell at my child for just pooping on the beach, but not this Mom. I ran down there telling him how proud I was that he didn't poop in his pants. I praised him over and over again. Yeah that is right, I did! That's the joys of parenthood. Is it ideal absolutely not, but is a step in the right direction, you bet it is. I will never forget Braxton's excitement. He was so proud of himself, and if you ask him about it he will still smile and tell you the story. Every day with Braxton is a new adventure and every day he makes me smile. He is so amazing and to see him happy when he accomplishes something new is what every parent dreams of. So am I proud of my son for taking a dump on the beach, you bet I am!

Exciting Exciting Exciting

SO PROUD OF YOU CONRAD!!!

Well there are some great things happening for our family & I have to share them. Conrad is done with school. He is graduating with two bachelors degrees. His degrees are in accounting and finance. He already has a job set up and I am so proud for him. I cannot say it has been easy for us doing all we are trying to do, but to see the outcome makes it all worth it. Yes I am well aware we did things backwards, but we wouldn't change it for the world. When I got out of high school I had no direction of what I wanted to do, and I was in school because that's what I thought was the next step. I was a horrible student, and didn't care what so ever. It wasn't until the day I had my son, in that delivery room was the day I realized I wanted to be a nurse. So now it is mommas turn, since Conrad is done. I am signed up at Bethel for the nursing program this fall. I am beyond excited, but really nervous. I know it is a huge commitment and I am going to miss some things, but I am doing this for my family and me. Wish me luck.

Holding Myself Accountable

I'm sure many of you know I am into fitness. I love crossfit and running and do it regularly. Exercise makes me feel awesome and it is my stress relief. I have always been athletic and I don't think that will ever change. Here is the issue ever since I had Braxton I have had trouble losing that final 10 pounds. Well after working my butt off constantly and still not dropping it my husband said, "Ashley honestly look at what you fuel your body with, garbage, how do you expect your body to change." Well off course I gave him some crap for the comment, but I knew he was completely right. I always gave myself an excuse for treating myself, you can have that Ashley you worked hard today. Ya you can feed yourself all the BS, but at the end of the day I am the one ruining it for myself. Lets face it when I run I run 3-6 miles, and anyone who's ever done crossfit knows it kicks your butt every time and I mean every time! I workout at least 4 times a week, but why even bother doing it all, if I eat the way I eat. Well here I am and I am going back to Paleo. Paleo is an awesome diet. You eat clean, meaning goodbye grains, sugar, dairy, and all the other junk. Basically you eat what the caveman ate. It is so simple. I have done it in the past, but always fell off the wagon. This time I am doing the 30 day challenge, no cheats! YES NO CHEATS! Whenever I have done this diet, I feel awesome, I have more energy then ever before and I swear within days I can already tell a difference. Lets just put it this way, this morning I was just starting day 4. I decided I would get on the scale even though I promised myself I would only check once a week because I don't want to get discouraged if it doesn't drop. However, I talked myself into it. I got on the scale looked at it and thought haha that cannot be right. So I hopped off and got back on again. I looked at it again astonished and said, "What the hell I am down 4 pounds already"! Here I have been beating myself up to lose 10 pounds and within 3 days of eating healthy I was almost half way there. It does work to fuel your body with good food, and to be honest whenever I even think about cheating I run myself through it and realize one it doesn't taste that good and two I would be so pissed at myself after I ate it. I always feed my son healthy food, so now its my time to practice what I preach. The point of my post is to keep myself accountable for what I am doing. I also want to show others what I am doing, in case it helps them. I will keep you all updated, because I am determined to do this not just for me but for my family!